Today, I was late for work and got chewed out by my boss. To console myself I decided to drink a cup of coffee and a cup of tea. My work provides this for free. When I did, my boss told me that in fact it wasn't, nor has it ever been, free; all this time I've been stealing other people's coffee. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boss fired me because I "didn't get the right kind of coffee beans." FML
Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had to stop at Starbucks to get my boss a drink. His son, who is at least 30 minutes late to work every day, was just walking in as I was walking out with all of my stuff. FML
Today, I was at a work lunch, and the waiter brought me a soda I hadn’t ordered. I thought it was a free mistake, so I took a sip. It was actually my boss’s drink. As soon as I noticed, I tried to give it back, but he just stared at me and said, "It’s fine. I’ve already seen you drink it now." FML
Today, our new boss banned coffee from the workplace, comparing caffeine to hard drugs. His comparison may not be wrong; after two hours, I couldn't take it any more, and in between fantasising about his cold-blooded murder, I begged to be allowed just one last cup. FML
Today, I did the walk of shame at work after walking in 20 minutes late with a venti iced coffee in my hand for the umpteenth time, my boss then told me to pack up all my things and get out so I could have all the time in the world to get iced coffees. FML
Today, one of my co-workers was fired after my manager discovered him pissing in the office coffee pot. I had three cups before I found out what had happened. FML
Today, I got chewed out at work when my supervisor showed up, because my coworkers told my supervisor they couldn't find me for an hour and a half. Why couldn't they find me? Because they'd left to go get coffee. FML
Today, I woke up late for work. In my rush to make a quick cup of coffee, I forgot to put a mug under the machine. I came back a few minutes later to a kitchen counter flooded with coffee and had to clean it up, making me even later. To top it off, I was out of coffee. FML
Today, I was making some tea for my colleagues when I accidentally dropped the tea bag into my cup of coffee. I thought, "Why not?" and took a sip. It tasted like a caffeinated botanical disaster, and the whole office got to enjoy me retch for 10 minutes. FML
Today, I learned a co-worker called and awoke my boss at 3 a.m. to complain that I'd been "rude" to him. All I'd done was make a disapproving face because he'd been drinking and he was slobbering drunk, and wanted to charge his purchase to his employee account, a definite no-no when not on the clock. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
Coffee AND tea?!?! Quit screwing around and just go get some crystal meth!
gusgus36 5
oops! that sucks... you would think it would have been more obvious if it wasn't free. or maybe it is free and your boss is just coming up with more ways to wreck your day.. :(
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Comments (44)
bassfisher100 23
where was this coffee coming from and how were you just taking it if it isn't free? did people just leave their coffee sitting around?
kevinsagirl2323 8
Why would you have coffee and tea?
metroido 21
Some people just *need* that level of caffeine. Or maybe they like them both & couldn’t decide?
metroido 21
Not your fault; if multiple people told you it was free, how were you supposed to know otherwise?
randybryant799 21
Who has a cup of coffee and a cup of tea? And since you work there shouldn't you know whether it's free or not? I'm thinking you might not be working there for long.