Today, I finished my shopping at Costco, and realized I'd forgotten where I had parked. After scouring the parking lot for 20 minutes, I called the police and filed a report for a stolen vehicle. I then remembered I had bought a new car yesterday and parked it right next to the entrance. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I couldn't find my car in a mall parking lot. After 30 minutes of searching, I reported it stolen to the mall security. It turns out that I'd parked it on the opposite side of the mall. Security escorted me to my car, all while giving me pitiful looks. FML
Today, my car was stolen from my driveway. I reported it to the police, the insurance company, and my neighbors, and begged for help via social media. As I walked to catch a bus, I saw my car parked outside my school. I forgot I left it there last night. FML
Today, I finally found a parking space directly outside my apartment after driving around for 20 minutes. I celebrated, parked, and walked upstairs. Ten minutes later, I realized I'd left my car running with the keys still inside. FML
Today, I took the bus after work. When I got to the remote parking lot, I realized my car had been stolen so I called the police to report it. When they came to take a statement and asked me when was the last time I saw my car was, I replied, “This morning, when I drove it to wo… Oh.” FML
Today, I borrowed a roommate's car to get groceries. I came out to find the car stolen. I called the cops, and the responding officer took the info and drove me home to give the roomie the bad news in person. 15 minutes later, they found the car. I'd parked it on the opposite side of the lot. FML
Today, I thought my car had been stolen because I couldn’t for the life of me find it in the office car park. I panicked and called the cops, only to remember I had taken my bike to work. FML
Today, I found an empty parking space in a crowded parking lot. When I came back later, a lady and a cop were standing by my car. Her car used to be parked there and got stolen. They think I'm involved. FML
Today, my boss reported to the police that a suspicious car has been parked outside the store late at night. I walked outside and my car was gone. He had my car towed. FML
Today, I was leaving my job at a huge mall. I couldn't find my car anywhere, so I panicked and flagged a security officer. I cried while he drove me around for miles in the endless parking lot. Then, suddenly, I remembered. My friend had dropped me off in the morning. FML
Today, I woke up at 7 am to take my last final. When I got to the parking lot, I realized my car was missing. After speaking to the police for 3 hours, I called my girlfriend to let her know what happened. She then told me I had parked on the street the night before. So much for the 8 am final. FML
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Top comments
doubledee93 6
guess someone shouldve had their v8
airforce987 20
Strange. When I get a new car, I always park it so far in the back that no one would ever park near it.
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Comments (158)
SarcasticGuy 5
guess what op? your new car has a salvaged title now.
TheDrifter 24
Salvage titles come from rebuilding damage write offs, not theft recoveries.
micaelareppucci 6
Haha been there. Though I didn't call the cops.. Just forgot that I was looking for a black car and not a red one.
delicious69 5
Smoke some more weed man.
DerMarktradikale 13
Hopefully the police let's you pay for this.
AholeCop 11
There's nothing to pay for, it sounds like an honest slip of the mind.
liftedyoda 5
Smooth
Sway_NV 7
I call BS
MistySky 17
Ever cross your mind to walk around clicking the unlock button until you hear a beep? Actually works a whole bunch for me..
junkman6 22
The only police time OP wasted was their stakeout at Krispy Kreme waiting for the red light to come on. Or wait is the red light Duncan?
AholeCop 11
I'm not entirely sure what you were trying to say, but oh....lets go with Duncan (Dunkin?).
junkman6 22
I think auto correct got me there I dunno. But the red light outside turns on for a hot and fresh batch of donuts. Get it they were waiting for donuts... Oh well everyone was screaming about wasting taxpayer money an had yet to call the cop an asshole for some reason.
abpersonality 19
How do you just forget that you bought a new car?
TxCountryBeauty 10
Ok I know it's off topic, but where do all of these FML's come from? I've looked on so many profiles and you always see 0 out of _ posted... I've actually only seen 1 posted and I think it was doc bastards... Just a thought