Today, my old highschool math teacher called me, asking me to please stop calling him at 2AM every weekend. Turns out my best friend uses my cellphone to call his number every time she's drunk, and declares her eternal love to him. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband gave my cellphone number to his most obnoxious, creepiest friend. I've been drunken-dialed five times already. FML
Today, I've been getting calls for over a week on my home phone, cell phone, and the work phone at my night shift, in which someone whispers terrifying Satanic-sounding chants at me. I've now found out that the caller is my best "friend". His explanation: "You seemed lonely, man." FML
Today my best friend called me at 6 a.m., ranting and accusing me of sleeping with her husband. I live two hours away and haven't seen him in person in over six months. FML
Today, my friend's phone rang in class and my teacher thought it was me, so now I have detention for a week. FML
Today, my friend posted my phone number all over the Internet, claiming I was a deranged stalker who prank called her. I was calling from my new number to give it to her. FML
Today, I called one of my old coworkers to see how she was doing. My boyfriend answered the phone. FML
Today, the guy I've been sleeping with for the last three weeks got really drunk. I drove him home from the party and took care of him. At 2am he asked for the phone. When I asked what for, he said he wanted to drunk dial his girlfriend. FML
Today, I texted my mom and had to explain to her that calling me repeatedly at 2 a.m. because you're bored and want to talk is not really a good idea. Seriously, nothing happened, she just wanted to chat because she had nothing else to do. Her response to my message? She started calling me again. FML
Today, my "friend" thought it'd be absolutely hilarious to use my phone to text my girlfriend, bragging that I'd found a new "slampiece" and that she's "fukcin dumpd". Now I'm single, her dad keeps making threatening calls to me, and nobody will even listen to my side of the story. FML
Today, I was at my friend's house celebrating his 16th birthday. I couldn't find my phone so I asked my friend's girlfriend if I could borrow her phone to see if I could hear mine ringing. I dialed my number, only to find she had my number saved in her phone as "ASS FACE #3". FML
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Top comments
OneandOnlyOne 0
Do NOT let your friend use your phone any more.
misspeg 0
u got a friend who still stays smart enough to use your phone and not hers when she's drunk? props 2 her. I usually don't have a clue when I'm wasted. just keep an eye on your phone from now on. FYL.
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Comments (91)
wiserman 0
fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirst :D go ahead and thumb me down you turds. and drunk at 2 pm? wow. i'm irish and even i can't pull that off.
OwenC 0
Hello. And this sounds like some sort of person who is a rapist? Like an Elephant in a room?
wiserman 0
this just in: everyone who thumbed me down is a shut-in queer. **** you ******* faggoty ******-*****. you can all just ass-**** each other until you vomit rainbows. you can suck each others cocks until your lungs collapse. you bitches who voted me down can all go bleed the **** out. how about i give you all a thousand-island dressing you nasty ******* *****? liberal bitch-asses. go lose your virginity at a donkey show.
Ajjas013 6
First you let us thumb you down and then you make fun of us? It's like a cop telling you it's ok to run a red light and then busting you for it. I think you're the turd here.
Darling_Cherry 5
LoL
OneandOnlyOne 0
Do NOT let your friend use your phone any more.
AntiChrist7 0
YDI for not paying attention to your stuff
darkheadlights 4
Your friend drinks at 2 in the afternoon?
letitbe56 0
Yeah, seriously. I think the FML goes to the friend with the horrible drinking problem. (And yes, I realize the OP probably meant AM. I just think it has more humor value if we leave it as it stands.)
kukopia 0
No, silly. Her and her friend drink as soon as they get up on weekends. They're both drunk by 2 pm...
Vaetrus 0
Who the hell gets drunk by 2pm every single weekend. So you sleep the afternoon off and then start again at sundown?
Chopperman_fml 0
Seriously, your friend is kinda trashy to be drunk that early...
Crotcho_fml 0
omg, hellooooooooooo the FML says clearly 2AM!!
ArielTheMermaid 17
where does ANYONE see 2 pm? it clearly says AM
ilovemyflaws 0
What are you talking about? It says 2AM
hotzstuff89 0
it said AM idiot.
Epickitty58 29
2AM means 2 AT NIGHT MORON #45 #6
energyphuck 0
bahahaha!!!!! sweet.
misspeg 0
u got a friend who still stays smart enough to use your phone and not hers when she's drunk? props 2 her. I usually don't have a clue when I'm wasted. just keep an eye on your phone from now on. FYL.
SadinSherman 16
You could just put a password on your phone
deaditegirl 0
YDI for not paying better attention to your phone.
lolwatlol 0
drunk at 2 pm? your friend got issues
HannahPaloozah 0
It says 2 am
hotzstuff89 0
they said AM. as in morning. nice one.
Peroxide 3
You have your math teachers number?? He was supposed to teach you about numbers, not his own.