Today, the girl I went on an awkward date with two weeks ago showed up at university and started smashing my car with a bat. She then broke down in tears and alternated between declaring her love, and cussing me out for "cheating" on her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was on a first date with this girl I've been talking to. I met her and she came with me so I could park my car in the student lot. On the way back, I saw a beat up car with its window duct taped up and exclaimed "Haha! Look at that piece of junk." It was her car. FML
Today, my psycho ex crashed a date with my girlfriend. She acted like we were still together and made a big show of dumping me for cheating on her. My actual girlfriend bought it hook line and sinker. Now I'm single again. FML
Today, I went on a date with a girl that I really like. I picked her up from her house, and as I was pulling out of her driveway, I hit her dad's BMW, knocking off the bumper. FML
Today, I confessed to my girlfriend that I cheated on her. She told me that she needed time to think, and left. An hour later, her dad came by with a baseball bat. FML
Today, I broke up with my psycho girlfriend of one month. She actually expected me to let her keep the vintage car that I've been rebuilding for the past two years, and when I refused, she threatened to burn my garage down with us still in it. FML
Today, I went on a date with the girl of my dreams. Her boyfriend, who she said she'd broken up with, was at the same restaurant with another girl. She screamed at him for ten minutes, then they started making out, and left together. The girl he was with looked at me and said "Eww", then went to hit on another guy. FML
Today, I went on a date with a girl I like. Afterwards, I drove her home, and we just sat there awkwardly. I thought she wanted to kiss me but was nervous, so I jokingly said, "What're you waiting for? Christmas?" I guess she took that as a "Get the hell out", because she broke into tears and left. FML
Today, at age 27, I went to pick up the girl I like for my first ever date. Her brother answered the door with a baseball bat, said the date was off and threatened to smash my kneecaps to pieces if I ever came back. FML
Today, I asked a girl out and made plans to go see a movie. About 5 minutes in, I made a move to put my arm around her and smashed her in the face. FML
Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when a girl came out of nowhere, screaming at me for cheating on her, and saying she was dumping me. I've never seen her before, and she was almost grinning during her little act, but my girlfriend believed it, and I'm now single. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
SweetAsHell 9
You may not know it, but you two have been going out for years. It's just that most of the time, on your dates, she's hiding in the bushes.
Corrupt_waffles 13
Well now you know why it would have been bad had you actually started consistently dating her. :/
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (132)
gosteve0001 1
That girl may have borderline personality disorder...that can be dangerous for you. I hope you called the police!!!
DontWalkAway 8
I'm a teenage girl. My BFF Becky texts and says she's kissed Johnny. Well, that's a problem because I like Johnny. Now, I'm emotionally compromised, and- *smashes the shit out of your car with a baseball bat* Whoopsies. I'm all, "OMG! Becky's not even hot!"
XxWolvesBitexX 8
Thank you for sharing your life story on FML.
DontWalkAway 8
You know that's from a commercial, right?
goodgood_fml 5
It would help if you would stop sleeping with her. Might want to give her back the money you owe her because rent is due. You will NOT get away with it!! K. Love you. Bye asshole!!!!
THE_A_TEEN 28
Wut?
XxWolvesBitexX 8
I missed the part where OP said he gave the girl anal.
nickolascronk 3
She's gonna boil your bunny dude.
gfty 2
Bitches be crazy
Batmark 10
that's what you get for dating "Crazy"... Moral of the story: Don't Date Crazy people!
THE_A_TEEN 28
Isn't that what dating is for? To find out more about the person you want to be with? OP only went on one date with her and he admitted it didn't go well, hence "awkward date". Moral of this story: You're an idiot.
Squrril 0
Any one smell bipolar in here!
dansco 25
She's a keeper! I wouldn't cheat on her though lol
Jayrawrskie 0
Psycho dude, put out a restraining order...