Today, I went to the mall with my girlfriend to buy some new clothes, and I turned around to give her a quick kiss. My lips were half-way to "her" face when I saw instead the face of another lady. She slapped me. My girlfriend was standing next to me, very pissed off. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at the mall with my friend when I saw my boyfriend in Victoria's Secret - with another girl. They were joking and laughing, and I was really pissed off. So I stormed into the store and slapped him. He looked up at me with an angry and confused expression. It wasn't my boyfriend. FML
Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML
Today, I went to a club with my girlfriend and her buddies. An hour in, I saw her making out with a guy on the dance floor, so I confronted her. She stormed off to the bar and said something to her friend, who then came over and angrily slapped me across the face. Yeah, I'm confused too. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my place unannounced. She slapped me in the face, said, "You son of a bitch." and stormed off. I have no idea what that was for. FML
Today, I was walking through Target when I was pulled aside by a very attractive girl who began kissing me. She stopped, because I wasn't who she thought I was. Disappointed, I turned around to see her very angry, very large boyfriend behind me. FML
Today, I asked my wife for a kiss. She snarled, "I'm your WIFE, just fucking kiss me! You don't have to ask!" Later, I went in for a kiss and she slapped me, then yelled that it was my fault for "getting in her face." FML
Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML
Today, I snuck up on my girlfriend to give her a kiss. Only after I planted a big one did I realize it was not my girlfriend, or even a girl for that matter. FML
Today, I was in school when I spotted my girlfriend in the hallway. I wanted to be all romantic and grab her like guys do in movies. I grabbed her wrist forcefully and pulled her out of the crowd. As I quickly leaned in to kiss her, I broke her nose. FML
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Top comments
NStarB 13
Well, it's not easy to please two women
xSkittle 16
Why was she pissed off? She saw it was an accident.
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Comments (83)
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
Gee your girlfriend lacks humour. I'd laughed myself silly, especially seeing my husband's embarassed face
HeartOfLead 24
Look with your eyes, not your lips!
MumuMGFRCN 4
Well you didn't do it on purpose. If I were her, I would have laughed instead. This is an unusual situation. I find it kind of funny actually.
bassbadass 12
Well I guess "look both ways" applies in more than one
Kmp1617 5
I've done this.. Except I kissed a woman's forehead instead of my boyfriends lips... I feel for you
OnlyTheDarkest 17
Better than a woman's lips instead of your boyfriend's forehead I suppose..
AussieChild 22
I once ran over to my husband and hugged him from behind in a crowded cinema. Turns out it wasn't him, and my husband and our friends saw it happen and couldn't stop laughing. Still haven't lived it down! If I was your girlfriend, I would have laughed it off! Some people are much too serious!
Cujo3269 9
Does anyone pay attention anymore?
_TheWoman_ 6
Are you the boyfriend of the girl who touched the boobs from a woman in the line? If so, you're square.
stitesy29 18
Why couldnt you wait for the kiss?
Vilsitior_93 12
Ouch