Today, I went to the mall with my girlfriend to buy some new clothes, and I turned around to give her a quick kiss. My lips were half-way to "her" face when I saw instead the face of another lady. She slapped me. My girlfriend was standing next to me, very pissed off. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at the mall with my friend when I saw my boyfriend in Victoria's Secret - with another girl. They were joking and laughing, and I was really pissed off. So I stormed into the store and slapped him. He looked up at me with an angry and confused expression. It wasn't my boyfriend. FML
Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML
Today, I went to a club with my girlfriend and her buddies. An hour in, I saw her making out with a guy on the dance floor, so I confronted her. She stormed off to the bar and said something to her friend, who then came over and angrily slapped me across the face. Yeah, I'm confused too. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my place unannounced. She slapped me in the face, said, "You son of a bitch." and stormed off. I have no idea what that was for. FML
Today, I was walking through Target when I was pulled aside by a very attractive girl who began kissing me. She stopped, because I wasn't who she thought I was. Disappointed, I turned around to see her very angry, very large boyfriend behind me. FML
Today, I asked my wife for a kiss. She snarled, "I'm your WIFE, just fucking kiss me! You don't have to ask!" Later, I went in for a kiss and she slapped me, then yelled that it was my fault for "getting in her face." FML
Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML
Today, I snuck up on my girlfriend to give her a kiss. Only after I planted a big one did I realize it was not my girlfriend, or even a girl for that matter. FML
Today, I was in school when I spotted my girlfriend in the hallway. I wanted to be all romantic and grab her like guys do in movies. I grabbed her wrist forcefully and pulled her out of the crowd. As I quickly leaned in to kiss her, I broke her nose. FML
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Top comments
NStarB 13
Well, it's not easy to please two women
xSkittle 16
Why was she pissed off? She saw it was an accident.
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Comments (83)
terribletowel64 8
My names Tyler too bro
xRezSynn 15
Explain it to her, she'll understand...she should..
AABabe 12
If she actually got pissed off over a simple accident then she must be really clingy.
MikaykayUnicorn 36
YDI, should have looked before trying to kiss her.
Zebediabolical 45
Didn't you learn anything from the time she tried to rub you in the grocery store lineup? ALWAYS LOOK BEFORE YOU GROPE OR KISS!
DestinysChampion 17
True, it's a sweet gesture, but, next time, make sure you're the only two in the immediate vicinity.
joanniejore 7
You deserve it. The mall is not really the place to plant one on her. Keep that for at home. In the mean time, how could you possibly not realize it wasn't her?
twicht_de 10
in the UK we would say: Should have gone to Specsavers...
worldclassrager 41
Good thing you didn't kiss the other woman...just explain to your girlfriend...she might (hopefully) understand...
aligater10 7
She doesnt need to get pissed just laugh about it!