Today, I used a public bathroom and set my motorcycle helmet on the sink while I used the urinal. The helmet rolled into the sink, under the faucet and set off the motion detector, soaking the inside. I drove 15 miles home in 30 degree weather with a wet helmet. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was on my motorbike 200km from home, in the middle of nowhere, when I needed to poop, so I found a wooded area and did my thing. As I was climbing back up, I knocked my helmet from its perch and watched it roll right into what I’d just left. FML
Today, I realized I'd put on my shirt on inside out, so I went to the bathroom stalls to fix it. As I was taking it off, I accidentally dropped it in the toilet. FML
Today, I got into my car to go to work and discovered that my seat, seat-belt, door, and all the electronics in the door were wet. Apparently I hadn't wound the window all the way up, and it rained last night. I'm now sitting at my desk typing this with a wet bum. FML
Today, after speeding home due to an overflowing bladder, I ran to the bathroom, forgetting that the toilet seat was broken. While doing my business, the toilet seat and I both slid off the bowl. FML
Today, after a 2-hour meeting, I rushed to take an urgent dump. Unbeknownst to me, my urine was not hitting the porcelain bowl, but rather the underside of the lid. As it pooled around the pedestal, it soaked my pants, underwear, and when I stood up to button my pants, it got on my shirt too. FML
Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML
Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the toilet while pissing. Instead I tripped over backwards and pissed all over my face. FML
Today, I was on a road-trip with some of my buddies, when we stopped at a gas station. When I opened the door to their bathroom, brown water flowed out, soaking my legs up to my knees. I then spent another 2 hours in an enclosed vehicle. FML
Today, while reading in the bath, I accidentally switched the shower on. Not wanting my book to get soaked, I threw it out of the tub. When I got out of the tub later, I found it had landed squarely in the toilet. FML
Today, I discovered that I had left my sunroof open all night during a storm and my front seats was soaked. I grabbed a towel for my seat but didn't close my sunroof because it was nice out. As I pull out of my driveway, I felt something wet hit my forehead. A bird shit on me through my sunroof. FML
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Top comments
yous_an_idiot 0
Way to use your motorcycle in 30 degree weather.
GreenAlbatross 3
He might not have another vehicle to use. Not everyone has two vehicles to use. Good for you if you're that privileged, but he might be using a motorcycle instead of a car to lower gas and maintenance costs. Congratulations for being a single-minded dickweed.
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Comments (106)
AngelLove251987 0
that sucks brrr
epicman1999 0
celcious I hope
nineoclockstart 0
Since when does it make it to 30 degrees in Florida?
fml_fwp 9
What's the big deal? Thirty degrees is roasting for me. Ohhhhh... You meant in farenheit. Maybe a little tip for next time, hmmmm?
cbakalyar 11
30 degrees in Florida?
Cbr600rray 5
Next time you should set the helmet on the bottom so it doesn't roll around.... Common sense?