Today, I went to my dad and new stepmom's house for the week. Upon arrival, I was handed mouthwash, deodorant, and lice shampoo. The guest bed I was told I'd be sleeping in was fitted with a plastic mattress cover. I don't have lice and I don't wet the bed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, for the first time in my life, I have lice. The dog we rescued infested our house. No amount of showering has made me feel clean, and my bald husband just doesn't understand why I'm so bothered. FML
Today, my sister had a friend for a sleepover. They filmed a video in which the friend was lying in my bed, singing. An hour after the girl went home, her parents called. She has lice, and had brought them to our house unknowingly. I can see each and every individual larva on my pillow. FML
Today, I thought about going to visit an old girlfriend of mine with hopes of getting a little head. Unfortunately, I didn't know it would be head lice I'd get. FML
Today, my four roommates and I contracted lice. While all our heads were slathered in mayonnaise and saran wrap, our building's fire alarm went off. FML
Today, I found out I have bed bugs, thanks to my dad having them and not telling me, so my girlfriend got pissed at me, thinking I purposely give them to her, and is sending me a bill to have her house treated for them. Thanks dad. FML
Today, I got head lice, so I went to a store to buy medicated shampoo. When checking out the cashier saw my shampoo and asked me to leave immediately to protect the other customers. He didn't let me buy the shampoo. FML
Today, I got dragged to dinner with my grandparents. It was awful from the start, but things took a turn for the worse when my grandpa went to give me a kiss on the cheek as we left. I could clearly see lice crawling around in his beard, and I couldn't stop it from touching my face. FML
Today, I was doing the laundry and changing the bed sheets. I found most of my underwear under my step daughters bed, when I asked her, she said that she liked the way they smelled. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to meet my parents. Everything was going fine until she said she owned a dog. My mom then immediately attempted to check her scalp for lice. FML
Today, 2 hours before a 13-hour flight, I found out I had head lice. I'm a 24-year-old woman. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
You are inferring all wrong. They are clearly telling you that you have bad breath, you stink, and you're going to get lice from the last person who slept on that bed.
FrankHotpants 31
just incase
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Comments (114)
KateKiddo 6
Slap the OCD bitch, tell her to chill the f*ck out, burn her mouth with the whole bottle of mouthwash, drown in the lice shampoo, tie her to that bed and keep her that way until she wets herself. No, actually keep her that way even after she wets herself. ;D GOOD LUCK!
furbs84 0
LOL Brilliant!!
Aerryn 3
I'm not convinced it's the stepmom either. My 16 year old stepdaughter has had lice twice in the past 6 months, would refuse to wash her clothes between wearings so they stank to hell, and lied to us about brushing her teeth for 2 straight months. Oh, and refused to shower more than once a week for 3 months as well. These were all within the last year. But if you ask her, she has great hygiene habits, refuses to admit that she had lice, and we ask too much of her. Yea, because showering is WAY too hard. Kids lie.
sharkwkrox 0
LOL
spazzy910 0
Aww, FYL... I hope that changes :)
Lichinamo 33
@lolaisagirl: Here I am! @22 *Sigh* *Would have *then TAKE OFF THE PLASTIC COVER