Today, my new subletter moved in. Within 6 hours, one of my cats took a dump on her pants. I freaked out, lit some candles to hide the smell, and threw her pants in the washer. When the cycle was done, I found her cell phone at the bottom of the washing machine. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my roommate and I noticed a foul smell in our apartment. After looking around for a little while, I found that her cat had pooped on a pair of my jeans, and apparently tried to cover it up by dragging a shirt over the mess. FML
Today, I woke up to find out my cat pissed in my laundry from last night. This includes underwear, so I had to go commando. I grabbed an old T-shirt and pants at the bottom of a drawer and left for school. Turns out the pants had a hole in the crotch and my period was due. FML
Today, I moved back into my room, which I'd sublet for a few months. The subtenant never paid any rent and is gone, but she did leave me something: my own underwear on the floor, which she apparently liked to wear, but didn't seem to like to wash. FML
Today, I woke up and stepped on a wet jacket. After smelling what it was, it turns out the cat had peed all over my laundry, especially the waterproof jacket, and after attempting to clean it up, it dripped everywhere and the entire apartment now smells like cat piss. FML
Today, while at the gym, I noticed a foul smell while on elliptical machine. I figured it was the little old lady on the machine next to me. It was so bad I had to leave. When I got in my truck, I realized the smell had followed me. It was me. My cat had pissed on my workout clothes. FML
Today, my new anti-social cat started rubbing on my leg. I thought she must be warming up to me. Then, I looked at my leg and saw she smeared poo all over my work pants. FML
Today, I was looking in my laundry basket for a clean tank top to wear. As I felt around, I realized that most of my clothes were still wet after two days. After asking my mom what was wrong with the dryer, I found out that for two days my cat had been using my laundry basket as a litter box. FML
Today, my roommate finally cleaned her cat's very full litter box. I later found our only good spatula crusted with kitty feces, which she'd left on the kitchen counter for me to find. FML
Today, my cat had the bright idea of giving birth in the dryer, on top of all my new white towels. FML
Today, at 6 am, I was suddenly jerked from the warm embraces of sleep by the smell of poo. I was very groggy and confused when my hand landed in something wet and cold. I turned on the light and was horrified to find that my kitten took a huge dump in my bed. It was everywhere. FML
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Top comments
Tehalon 0
ALWAYS CHECK THE POCKETS, gawd how old are you and how long have you been washing clothes?!
balor_fml 0
Just tell her your cats did it... oh wait.
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Comments (126)
masterc211 0
Hav ****** dumbass
checkitoutt 0
well you could let her think she lost her phone or broke it herself you could tell the truth and buy her a new one or you could put the phone in a bag of rice because that will absorb the water (and help extract it out of the phone)
FMLx8 0
Who cares, ur a piece if shit
heidi_twin 0
Haha quick! Hide her phone! She will never know!!!
drunk247 0
fml but the sim card should be ok don't hide it cuz if it works u might get a call an she will hear it
Blazer123 0
Haha u dumbass it's your fault for not even checking the pockets and now you owe the person money and there probably gunna move out
Blazer123 0
Your so stupid it's your fault and now you owe her money
haha321 0
haha ydi dumbass
haha321 0
u stupid asshole
coopcas 0
Put the phone in rice for 2 weeks.