Today, I drove home from work, only to find both my next-door neighbours loudly arguing in the middle of my driveway. I got out and asked them what the hell was going on, only to find out one of their inbred kids had put a brick through my back window, and each is claiming the other did it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I heard my neighbors having a violent argument in their front yard. I listened in, and soon found out why the wife wasn't happy with her husband. Apparently, she had caught her husband peeking through my windows for the second time this month. FML
Today, the only thing that managed to get me out of bed was scrambling to watch my neighbours have a screaming match in the middle of our street, about which one of their brain-dead kids spray-painted "CUNT FLAPS" and a rudimentary knob on the communal garage door. FML
Today, I awoke to the sound of my neighbors attacking my car with a baseball bat accusing me of calling the cops on them. I did call the cops on them, after they screamed at me last night, drunkenly, to call the cops for them because they thought they were being robbed. FML
Today, after 2 months of my new neighbours' kids throwing rocks at our cars, constantly swearing at us, bullying my siblings in and out of school, and vandalising our property, their mother has convinced the landlord that we're the ones out of control. FML
Today, my neighbor yelled “Fuck you!” at me through his window. My crime? Closing my front door “too loud.” This man lets his children beat on the walls and slam doors but apparently I’m the problem. FML
Today, I came home from work and found my house egged, and bricks thrown through my windows. I called the police, and submitted a report. Later that night, I heard the doorbell ring. Nobody was at the house, but there was a note saying "Sorry, wrong house". FML
Today, my neighbor's sons decided it would be funny to throw rocks at my house. I went outside to scold them and saw my other neighbors gathered around, watching. They didn't stop them because they thought I wasn't home. FML
Today, I came home to find a window broken and my neighbours searching inside my house. Apparently, they'd heard a small child asking for help inside my house. I recently taught my dog to "talk." FML
Today, my neighbors in the apartment above me yet again had a loud fight, well past midnight while I was trying to sleep. I stood on my bed and pounded on the ceiling to shut them up. And now I'll have to explain the two fist-shaped holes in the ceiling to my landlord. FML
Today, I found out that the loud noise outside my bedroom a few weeks ago was neighborhood kids throwing eggs at my window, landing on the AC. FML
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Top comments
Glitterhinoceros 14
It's YOUR driveway, run them over with your car.
thatshot808 6
If your family tree doesn't fork, then you might be a redneck
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Comments (33)
DocBastard 40
They DO have rednecks in the UK. They're called Scots.
brianjman14 23
Asshole.
Arxikist 3
Scots > Chavs
brianjman14 23
Unless you're being sarcastic, in that case, I apologize for my rudeness.
DocBastard 40
Brianjman - you've been around here long enough to know damn well that 99.9% of what I say is sarcastic.
stevenJB 25
I'm with you jumber10!
brianjman14 23
Haha, yeah, guess I got carried away, my apologies. I didn't see it was your comment until I posted mine.
msjoyfull84 0
What do you call a Scotsman with more than one girlfriend?................ Sheep herder.
monnanon 14
Oye, I think you'll find most of us are redheaded :)
ThatGuyRory 9
I'm Scottish, and i can assure you the closest thing to 'Red Necks' are Chavs. They're an epidemic around the UK.
lizh_fml 9
You are quite clearly not Scottish as in Scotland they are called neds. Chavs are English
chubby_choco 17
25, I officially love your post. XD
rubberduckie94 13
No wonder they threw a rock through your window if you refer to them as inbred
moomoomeow2 7
I hope the kid will get the punishment he deserves!
AlexRen 21
What no sleeping with his sister haha.
MrSassypants 34
Dad - "This time, you have to sleep on the top bunk and your sister on the bottom bunk!" Son - "WHY DOES EVERYONE HATE ME??!!"
maddiew17 1
FYL cuz u spell "neighbors"
msjoyfull84 0
Sounds like the beginning of a prank war to me, fill their car with water.
perdix 31
Make your idiot neighbour and his sister-wife pay for your window and then let them sort out from which of their troglodytic, mouth-breathing brood to extract the cash.
fLYinGgoOsE360 3
The two neighboring families are arguing over who broke the window, not the kids of one neighboring family.
perdix 31
Your interpretation may be a bit more plausible than mine, but mine is more entertaining. I prefer the image of the brother-husband arguing with his sister-wife while their brood of cross-eyed (boss-eyed), slack-jawed, hairy-knuckle-dragging Neanderthals shuffle about randomly in Brownian motion.
jimmy_dewey81 0
Hahahahahahahahahhahahajahjajaajahaj
arvale8802 1
At least you know it's one of em. Better then not having a clue as to who did it
Meesersuperman1 4
Damn white trailer trash rednecks. I hate them. So gross and dirty.
Schiffy 18
Tell them to either shut up or split the cost for repairs.