Today, I felt sorry for the weird chick at work that everybody avoids and decided to initiate a conversation with her. She interrupted me mid-sentence to tell me about her vaginal odor problems, before shoving her hand into my chip packet and inviting herself to dinner at my house. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my new office mate offered to let me smell her deodorant. This was after clipping her nails, before pulling out her needle point project, and while complaining how overworked she is. FML
Today, I was stuck with a coworker all morning while she had the "front farts." I moved to a different area after lunch, only to have another coworker start talking loudly about her boyfriend's skin tags, and how he likes to have her bite them off. I'm so disgusted but afraid to report it. FML
Today, I was in a public restroom when the girl in the stall next to me started asking me how I was doing. Thinking it was weird but not wanting to be rude, I answered her questions. Halfway though our conversation she said: "Hold on, the girl in the stall next to me thinks I'm talking to her." FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me while I was at work. She did so by telling me she has a yeast infection. FML
Today, I farted in my office, assuming nobody would come in until the smoke cleared. The new girl then came in to introduce herself. She had her hands on her nose the whole time, while we both awkwardly tried to ignore the stank elephant in the room. FML
Today, after doing inventory at my job, I was approached by a co-worker who I had always thought was cute. I tried talking to her, but it was hard as I kept trembling and stuttering from spending two hours in a meat locker. Now she assumes that I'm "special". FML
Today, another employee scolded me for being "socially awkward". The same employee who just before had a 10 minute discussion with a client about her poop. FML
Today, I was finally able to get to know a girl at university who I'd been eyeing up for months. We had a nice conversation. We discovered that we live in the same area, and so we talked about that. I told her that the little restaurant under my house was really disgusting. Her parents own it. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant waiting for a table. Some lady walked by, smelling like BO and patchouli oil. I attempted to cover my nose with my sweatshirt, but I thumped a small girl in the process. FML
Today, while sitting in a bar, I offered to buy the drunk chick sitting next to me a drink. She was a lot more inebriated than I thought, because she looked at me with bloodshot eyes and cheerfully responded, "There's a rotten smell in my vagina!" FML
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Top comments
kooochris1995 14
At least your not a dick! Even though now she probably won't leave you alone forever.
datoismyname 22
At least she didn't stick her hand down your pants.
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Comments (192)
StromyG2 10
Damn, that was intense!
beast98 0
Don't tell her where your house is???
liaRawr 9
The friends that are for life force their why in :)
amisenho 11
I usually had friends like that, mainly because I was one of them. It comes with being introverted, from my experience; we like to wear our hearts on our sleeves, should you choose to approach us and probe us with questions. Topics that we choose aren't usually that conventional, and they make for interesting icebreakers. It may be caused by a lack of extroverted social interaction; then again, it could very well be a mental disorder. I will say this, though: we tend to be pretty reliable friends in the long run, so I wouldn't underestimate our value, if I were you.
JaiBrooks5 13
That was nice of you !!!;)
zykrithium 22
Hopefully she isn't fat. In my experience, chicas like that become your best friends.
draftskink 23
Grow a backbone and tell her off
oasis359 13
congrats on getting a date. bet you wish it was always that easy.
ZombieSlaya115 17
sucks man