Today, and for the last 4 days, my 19-year-old son has been wearing a metal full face skull helmet and a black robe, and has renamed himself Beast. He also bought a sword from god knows where and refuses to leave the house, because the outside scares him. I may need an exorcist. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my son is going through a rebellious phase. He's taken to wearing leather and chains, listening to death metal music all day in his room alone, and screaming at me in public places. He was fired from his part-time job for swearing at customers. My son is 29 years old. FML
Today, my son wears all dark clothes, has gotten evil looking tattoos, and worships the devil. It was kinda cute when he was 13, slightly concerning when he turned 18, but now he’s 30 and I’m unsure if I should be more accepting of his lifestyle or just plain old shit scared. FML
Today, my son told me he was afraid of monsters under his bed. When I poked my head under to show him nothing was there, the family cat sprang out and clawed me in the face. Now I have a gash on my chin, and my son refuses to go anywhere near his bed. FML
Today, I had to take my 15-year-old son to the hospital. He'd gone out dressed as some My Little Pony character and encountered someone who'd had the same idea. They then got into a fistfight, and my son got the shit beaten out of him. I wish I'd never bred. FML
Today, my 18 year old son asked me to check if there were any monsters under his bed. FML
Today, I found my 5-year-old son prancing around in high heels and cat ears, wearing a thong as a necklace, and waving a riding crop around like a sword. He'd found the box where granny keeps her special outfits that make granddad extra happy on Friday nights. FML
Today, my son is having housing issues, so I let him stay at my place for a while. Today, he found out that the quiet, dorky-looking professor who lives next door is an MMA fighter. He tried to break into the guy's house in the middle of the night and is now in the hospital. FML
Today, my nineteen-year-old son attempted to mug me. With a screwdriver. FML
Today, my son is so rabid for Halloween this year that he decided to dress up early and do his own Incredible Hulk makeup. He used a green permanent marker he stole from school. It’s all over him from head to foot, and my carpet, sofa, bathtub, and even the cat. FML
Today, my son was crying and refusing to sleep in his room because a spider ran along the wall, and it's now hiding somewhere. He’s 19. FML
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Top comments
bobsanction 18
Why's he scared of outside? He's got a friggen sword!
Brightside86 31
I can't process this, would be cool if you could let us know how things turn out.
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Comments (12)
bobsanction 18
Why's he scared of outside? He's got a friggen sword!
cuz803 46
You two got it all wrong. He's suppose to tinker with potions that will give him blue fur and animalistic strength and agility. Don't call an exorcist, call Charles Xavier instead.
KingAdrock 16
What, you'd rather him be doing drugs or getting girls pregnant?
Bogrbon 27
Definitely this appears to be possibly one of the most effective know methods of male birth control I have heard of. He sounds like he could totally be on drugs though, but likely needs some mental health help.
CowgirlWithHeart 16
Maybe this is the result of drugs.
Thaylok 17
Sounds like something traumatic happened and he finds safety at home. May be time to dig a little deeper.
Brightside86 31
I can't process this, would be cool if you could let us know how things turn out.
GoogieWithers 25
Maybe a world after covid lockdown is too scary for him?
bleachedraven 14
Dressed like that, you'd think the outside would be scared of him.
Yudith 28
If he's scared of the outside, how can he attend his Renaissance Faires and LARP games? Dude's already got the mask and sword.
BurnInDemonFire 39
He went for Beast over Death Gun? Does your son even know how to nerd properly? Also, the outside scares me too. There's idiots out there.
ThePreciousZodiac 5
Yes, this! lmao! This is why I came here!
phybreawptic 13
I'm sorry to tell you that your son will probably never move out of your house.