Today, I’m allergic to all forms of hormonal birth control, and due to the virus outbreak, I can’t get my implant replaced. We’re in quarantine, and my boyfriend and I just used our last condom. It’s going to be a long couple of weeks. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out I'm allergic to condoms. Which would be great if my girlfriend wasn't allergic to birth control. FML
Today, after I got the birth control implant, waited a week like my doctor told me, my fiancé is still too scared that I'll get pregnant. It's been two months. FML
Today, I found out my ex gave me an STI. Today I also found out I'm allergic to the medication. FML
Today, my doctor's office called to reschedule. I hate sacrificing work time at all, but I have to have my contraceptive. The appointment had been set back once already due to insurance issues, and having to wait until November means I'm going to run out… so now I sound like a drug addict. FML
Today, I found out that my fiancé, with whom I've been with for 10 years, doesn't want to have sex with me because he thinks I'm going to trap him into having a baby. He sees me take my contraceptive pill nightly and knows I was booked in for having a coil fitted before Covid-19 happened. FML
Today, my boyfriend, who I haven't seen in months because we live in different countries, is coming to stay with me. I've been the picture of health for months, but today I woke up with my period, a terrible cold, and tooth pain from that root canal my dentist told me I didn't need a few years ago. FML
Today, I woke up to a text from my girlfriend telling me to call when I wake up. Turns out she had one of her friends over who tested positive for Covid and I was just at her house, so now I’m forced to quarantine. FML
Today, I was rushed to the emergency room for severe facial rashes. My boyfriend and I then found out I'm allergic to seminal fluid. FML
Today, I haven't had sex for so long that my condoms have gone off. FML
Today, we're in the middle of a contagious deadly pandemic, and despite not having physical/sexual contact with anyone in over a year, I managed to contract herpes. I don't even know how I got it. FML
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Top comments
Great_Grizz 7
You can get condoms anywhere. Grocery stores are still open. Gas stations are still open. This is the dumbest FML I’ve seen in a while
Michael Sawyer 11
Two words.... GAS STATIONS. They do sell condoms at them.
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Comments (22)
Johnny5 16
Umm grocery store, drug store, gas station, target, liquor store (probably)... but congrats on all the sex?
Emily Stryszko 3
condoms are seen ass essential. just go buy some more.
jbuckets_404 39
That's true. Wearing one when putting it up the *ss just might be recommended in your situ....
diraven 15
Wait until you get married then you'll be lucky if you have sex every two weeks.
rockincheer 4
You can still go buy condoms and if you don’t want to leave...you can order online.
demix_fml 32
Just get some with your weekly shop, you are aloud to go shopping once a week, so just hold off until then. Simple.
DanielleinDC 34
You should be able to get condoms at a grocery store or drug store when you're grabbing other essentials. You can also order online.
Nhayaa 21
So go get some FFS. *facepalm* This virus will kill the faith in humankind I have left.
jbuckets_404 39
Faith in humankind per what? That's there way too many dumb*sses out there all-ready! ;-)
Julia LaMarca 6
Really? People are dying, and you’re worried that you can’t control yourself enough during quarantine? Like, THIS is what you’re worried about? If you’re this afraid of becoming pregnant, yet living with a partner and clearly worried you’re not responsible enough to NOT have sex, wtf are you even doing? Sorry not sorry, take some personal accountability, you and your boyfriend are fully responsible for your actions and the potential life you create. Being a nympho isn’t an excuse. I find it laughable that there are this many adults who exist in the world who act as if they have zero willpower while simultaneously acting as if things that happen to them are just bad things in life that just happen rather than the consequences to their actions and choices. I literally created the account just to be able to tell you that after browsing this site for hours for laughs, this is undoubtedly the most pathetic “fml” here, I don’t even know how this got posted. Oh woe is me for I cannot keep my legs closed amidst a global pandemic and I’m allergic to all forms of contraceptive, I know people are dying but what am I suppose to do without the magical IUD preventing my from getting pregnant and having to deal with consequences?! Translation: nobody cares!!!! In 9 months I bet you’ll be first in line down at the wic office. I’ll meet you there if you’d like someone to accompany you with the music of the world smallest violin.
jbuckets_404 39
TL;DR;DC.... :-(
JuliaKay14 33
Grocery stores are still open. Go buy condoms
JLS 4
So order more off amazon dork