Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterwards tried to comfort me by saying there'd been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I gave birth to a baby girl. Where was my husband after the agony finally ended? Standing just outside the room, flirting with a nurse. FML
Today, I gave birth to my firstborn child. Somehow, my mom and mother-in-law made their way to the delivery room, and walked in mid-push. While they were escorted out, I overheard my mother-in-law asking the nurse how her son, my husband, was holding up. FML
Today, I went to the hospital to visit my aunt and her newborn baby. The receptionist gave me the room number, and I went and my aunt was in the bathroom so I cuddle the baby, only to find that the woman who came out of the bathroom was a complete stranger. I was holding her baby. FML
Today, I drove to the hospital to see my newborn. I went to the room, picked him out of the crate and held him. Then I heard the toilet flush and saw a woman who I didn't know come out. She screamed. My wife was in the room next door. FML
Today, my wife and I both got released from the hospital. She was admitted for the birth of our daughter. I was admitted with a broken arm from when my mother-in-law shoved me out of the way because she wanted to be the first one to hold the baby after my wife. FML
Today, I met my wife's mistress, at the maternity ward in the hospital, after she gave birth to our second child. FML
Today, I became one of those women who gave birth in a taxi. I used to laugh at those stories, because I couldn’t believe they would be so unprepared that they couldn’t get to the hospital first. Oh and I had to get a taxi because my husband had been watching football and was too drunk to drive. FML
Today, I had to drive the guy I've been seeing for the past few months to the emergency room. So that he could witness the birth of his newest child. FML
Today, I totaled my car whilst rushing to pick up my son from daycare. This happened as I was leaving the hospital, after dropping off a wheelchair to my recently disabled wife, who is taking care of our newborn in the special care unit. FML
Today, my wife's water broke so I drove her to the hospital. After 16 hours without labor, I went home to get a little sleep. Four hours later I got the call and ran outside to find that my car was towed from my parking space. FML
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Top comments
TehEpicBlack 20
Maybe you could continue the pattern and give birth to your next child in the cafeteria or somewhere.
HowieDoIt 21
You've got your work cut out for you to top it next time.
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Comments (98)
mosquito19 14
try again in a airplane next time.
ihpp 22
Congrats on the birth!
BlondeBubbles 6
A girl gave birth in the bathroom if my school. His birthday is this Thursday.
tanabanana13 14
Next time in the elevator!
SamCat 21
I'm an elevator baby too :) Op's kids are going to fun telling their mom's story. Congrats op.
chuckcloninger 12
Yeah, I heard this joke about 15 years ago. My girlfriend keeps telling me that the stories here are made up and I didn't want to believe it but I guess it's true. At least sometimes.
Timber147 9
Well you can't say your life is boring!
buddy51 23
Happy Birthday to your daughter OP! Hope you're ok too. No matter how they arrive or where they are born, it's a great thing to bring a new life into the world! Way to go!!
Psycho_Babydoll 26
As I speak fluent French, I would just like to say that your name made me crack up... darn right you should stay home next time, just be careful not to give birth in the basement or something.
stargirl_95 24
You really don't have to be fluent in french to understand OPs name since it's actually pretty basic.
Ray_of_midnight 23
*PLOP* "Get that for me, wouldja, Deirdre?"
SmosherMe 6
Whats Dierdre?
akiahara 14
What a strange choice of names.
Ray_of_midnight 23
You don't recognize the reference from Monty Python's The Meaning of Life? Kids today.
chlorinegreen 27
I bet she's one of those people that when she gets sick she never makes it to the toilet on time.