Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterwards tried to comfort me by saying there'd been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I gave birth to a baby girl. Where was my husband after the agony finally ended? Standing just outside the room, flirting with a nurse. FML
Today, I gave birth to my firstborn child. Somehow, my mom and mother-in-law made their way to the delivery room, and walked in mid-push. While they were escorted out, I overheard my mother-in-law asking the nurse how her son, my husband, was holding up. FML
Today, I went to the hospital to visit my aunt and her newborn baby. The receptionist gave me the room number, and I went and my aunt was in the bathroom so I cuddle the baby, only to find that the woman who came out of the bathroom was a complete stranger. I was holding her baby. FML
Today, I drove to the hospital to see my newborn. I went to the room, picked him out of the crate and held him. Then I heard the toilet flush and saw a woman who I didn't know come out. She screamed. My wife was in the room next door. FML
Today, my wife and I both got released from the hospital. She was admitted for the birth of our daughter. I was admitted with a broken arm from when my mother-in-law shoved me out of the way because she wanted to be the first one to hold the baby after my wife. FML
Today, I met my wife's mistress, at the maternity ward in the hospital, after she gave birth to our second child. FML
Today, I became one of those women who gave birth in a taxi. I used to laugh at those stories, because I couldn’t believe they would be so unprepared that they couldn’t get to the hospital first. Oh and I had to get a taxi because my husband had been watching football and was too drunk to drive. FML
Today, I had to drive the guy I've been seeing for the past few months to the emergency room. So that he could witness the birth of his newest child. FML
Today, I totaled my car whilst rushing to pick up my son from daycare. This happened as I was leaving the hospital, after dropping off a wheelchair to my recently disabled wife, who is taking care of our newborn in the special care unit. FML
Today, my wife's water broke so I drove her to the hospital. After 16 hours without labor, I went home to get a little sleep. Four hours later I got the call and ran outside to find that my car was towed from my parking space. FML
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Top comments
TehEpicBlack 20
Maybe you could continue the pattern and give birth to your next child in the cafeteria or somewhere.
HowieDoIt 21
You've got your work cut out for you to top it next time.
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Comments (98)
alwayswinning123 7
You just don't have luck when it comes to giving birth
misspulkadot24 17
I spent 2 minutes trying to read the name. My brain...it hurts.
Sirin_fml 47
"La prochaine fois je reste a la maison." It means, "Next time, I'll just stay home."
LarryLaDouche 13
KNOWLEDGE DROPPED! OH SON MY CEREBRAL CORTEX IS SO STIMULATED MY BRAIN STEM IS SPEWING SYNAPSES TO ALL OPERATING PARTS OF MY BODY!!
Sirin_fml 47
Oops, how insensitive of me. I always forget to add a trigger warning to these things. I'll try to be more careful next time.
misspulkadot24 17
Merci Sirin!
LarryLaDouche 13
Muchos thank you.
Brssps 13
41- muchos gracias
ericb982 8
#105 por favor **** off
LarryLaDouche 13
Now you need to have one in the car on the way to the hospital. Cover all the spaces between your home and the hospital room XD
WonkeyDonkey 10
I was thinking a bus or train so she can freak a few more members of the public out LOL
Goumbush 4
Congratulations
kimee21_fml 15
J'adore ton nom OP! Haha :)
medichick 5
Wow you have some fast labors!! Every woman envies you right now lol.
GraceyGirl523 9
My mothers was one hour and forty minutes for me :) from water breaking to baby crying xD
sykokitti 15
I don't envy her at all, sorry OP but it sounds like you have a huge cooter hole
mommy2cassidy 18
Uh no #155 you are so wrong. That has nothing to do with it.
juliaannw 11
Kids have have horrible timing.
maddygirl820 10
You're like a legend around there OP
SWC_Penguin 17
Next time aim for something that will make the local news. Like at someone's wedding or at a city council meeting. Raising the bar isn't easy, but I have faith in you!
outoftown 27
Better yet, next time tell local reporters and the hospital president's office your story by, say, month 8. I expect you'll get an acutal room early... very early. (And congrats!)
mk58 31
You're not breaking any confidentiality rights if you don't name any names or otherwise identify the person in question.