Today, my girlfriend of eight years explained to me that the Egyptian pyramids were built by aliens from Mars. I have a B.S. in Biology and an M.S. in Anthropology, and I'm working on my Ph.D. She thinks I'm an irrational idiot for telling her she's wrong. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that one of my colleagues believes that aliens built the pyramids. No amount of logical reasoning or evidence has had any effect on his argument of, "but you can't prove they didn't." FML
Today, I found out that the girl I've fallen in love with is a "young-earth/dinosaurs-lived-with-humans" crackpot. FML
Today, my daughter announced on Facebook that she is directly descended from extra-terrestrials. That would be okay - except she's 25 and believes it's true. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 3 years told me that I was part of an experiment for her Sociology doctorate. I also learned that the notebooks she's been writing in for the past three years aren't for her "doctorate in literature" as she had told me, they were notes on my behavior for the past 3 years. FML
Today, I found out my girlfriend of 3 years actually believes that the Earth is flat. FML
Today, I went to my guidance counselor and told her how I'd been fascinated with space since I was 12, had read about the universe and everything, and how I want to be an astrologist when I grow up. She stared at me for a second, before saying, "But you're... stupid." FML
Today, I made a new friend. He seemed pretty cool, until we came to the topic of religion and the ancient alien theory. I'm seemingly now friends with a guy who thinks alien Jesus raped an Earth woman, and we're the resulting cross-breed. FML
Today, my wife yelled at me for admitting I take my wedding ring off at work. I explained that I work in a chemistry lab and don't want to damage it. She laughed and said, "Oh please, that chemistry stuff is nonsense anyway." All while reading her horoscope. FML
Today, my girlfriend tried to convince me that she never takes dumps. I told her that as long as she eats, it's a biological impossibility, but she seems to have genuinely deluded herself into thinking it's true, purely because she is a girl. FML
Today, I got into a heated argument with my mom, because apparently I'm an idiot for not sharing her belief that chickens are mammals. She has a university degree in this stuff. FML
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Top comments
takemedown 0
Why would ANYONE think the pyramids were built by aliens from Mars?
starflake 3
I have a feeling your girlfriend has been watching too much Stargate..
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Comments (380)
newburton13 26
That theory has not been disproved.
aperfectxdeath 3
Theres plenty of evidence to suggest aliens exist. Watch some ancient aliens and open your mind. It's ignorant to not think alien life exists elsewhere. Blah blah it would take forever to get here even at light speed. Who says they're not a billion years more advanced than us and capable of FTL travel? Earth is relatively young compared to the rest of the universe so we can't really say it's not possible. It's just not possible for us.
coleboman 1
You sir have a problem of dumb bitch girl syndrome the only cure is to dump her
GothicAngel95 16
Don't have kids with her O.P.!!
markuset 8
I habe just one thing to add to this post: dump her shitty ass! you're way to smart for her!
evhrocks876 4
Hehe you have a B.S.
xgardian 15
How does biology or anthropology make you know how the pyramids got there....?
DenBriZel 31
Stargate. Love that show.
samlowksss 8
Hahahahahaha what the hell
Neckyl 6
Really, "published_anthropologist"? She probably got mad because you started rattling off your credentials like an arrogant prick. Get over yourself. F her life for putting up with you.