Anonymous
Sheffield, United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Unexpected arousal
Today, I got sexual tingles while watching a Subway worker assemble my sandwich. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Flustration
Today, I got flustered by the gorgeous sandwich artist at Subway and ordered a “meat-long foot-ball.” On Rye of course. FML
Shoofly
United States
Today, while at Subway, I looked on as an employee killed a fly with his hands. He then continued working without a second thought. He was making my sandwich. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Turned on
Today, I got sexually excited thinking about what kind of donuts I wanted to get in the morning. FML
/(•'_'•)\
Ballwin, United States
Today, while working at Subway, I was about to take a guy's order. He quickly held up a hand and asked for someone else to make his sub, because he doesn't like "ugly people" touching his food. FML
Anonymous
New York, United States
Today, while working at Subway, I was called a "terrorist" and other names by a customer 'behind my back'. I made him the best sandwich I'd ever made, in order to leave a good impression. Then I had to say the wonderful words, "Your total is $9.11." FML
Anonycock
Doha, Qatar
Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
"I'm horny, horny horny horny"
Today, I got incredibly horny at work. No one was in the office, so I spread out on my yoga mat and started to masturbate. All of the sudden, I heard a forklift outside. I quickly tried to hide, but I think the construction worker caught me. He’ll be working here all month. FML
Anonymous
Porter, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Dirty mind
Today, I'm so sexually deprived that I got a raging hard-on from seeing and hearing my coworker yawn. FML
matte
This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff
Australia
Get back here!
Today, whilst working at Subway, I took an order for 6 footlongs. The entire process took 15 minutes due to the customer's hesitant and glacial pace. When it came to paying, he pulled out his wallet, looked inside, looked at me, and walked quickly out of the store. FML
FriutlessApple
United Kingdom
Forever alone
Today, feeling bored and lonely, I drove into town to wander around the shops and go to Subway for lunch. While there, I picked up two trays and put one on the opposite side of the table, along with some of my rubbish, to make it look like I was with someone. FML
Top comments
JoeGrant 12
Hey, the way they lay that meat on there, sexy as anything else.
frozenfreeze 5
There's a reason it's called the $5 footlong.
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Comments (128)
ravenh1979 13
Eww!! Lol was the food good??
chosha_fml 27
Ah, those nimble fingers.
AllegroRubato 16
There's no shame in loving your food. You're letting it inside you anyways so.
DevilsMetsGiants 30
That's some sexy ham & cheese! Oh my god that's some fresh lettuce!
Joedbag 8
There's no shame in having a food fetish...
shazzaam 3
"am i a psycho" yes im a psycho.. i think im a psycho
graceinsheepwear 34
Well, you can't beat their meat...
incoherentrmblr 22
Mr. Castanza... We've been expecting you...
lalaney 14
A lot of people on here aren't old enough to get this reference, so I just wanted you to know my hat's off to you.
Risho96 10
83: You don't have to be old to have seen old movies. One of my favorite movies was made in the 80s. I don't remember the year, but the point is: the reason I don't get the reference is because I didn't watch the movie, not because I'm young.
Dalyn8912 12
Do you work at Subway? 'Cause you just turned my six inch into a foot long!
LeRhino22 9
Lmao I guess she gave you 2 footlongs that day xD