Today, I was in a public washroom and I had to take a dump. I knew how dirty the toilets were, so tried to do the "stand and poo." Unfortunately, I slipped and the poo fell on the ground. Then I realized there were no paper towels. There was a line outside waiting. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was taking a dump at a public restroom. As I reached over to grab the toilet paper, I realized someone had peed on it. FML
Today, I had to pee badly. I went into a stall and sat down. Only until after I'd peed, I realized that I didn't have any toilet paper. I waddled to the next stall with my pants down to get more toilet paper, believing that the bathroom was empty. It wasn't. FML
Today, I was shopping in a mall when I needed to go to the bathroom. One of the toilets was out of order, so I went to the other toilet. After that, there was no toilet paper, so when I saw tissue in the sink, I left the stall with my pants down and someone saw me. FML
Today, I had diarrhea in a public bathroom. When I was finished, I noticed that someone had pissed all over the toilet paper. FML
Today. I used the restroom at the mall. After I wiped, I went to toss the paper into the toilet. I missed horribly. The wad of TP with poop on it landed on the floor of the next stall. It was occupied. FML
Today, I was in a public bathroom with the runs when I noticed my stall didn't have any toilet paper. I was the only one in the bathroom, and I thought I could make it to the stall next to me and grab some with my pants down. I wasn't actually the only one in there. FML
Today, I had to take an urgent dump at work. I noticed too late there was no toilet paper left, so I had to risk doing a quick "pants around the knees" shuffle to the next stall. I locked eyes with the window cleaner at the same time I heard someone enter from behind me. FML
Today, I had just sat down and taken a dump in a public restroom when I realized there was no toilet paper. I tried to discreetly call for help, but no one heard me. My only option was to text a friend and have them bring me some. The worst part? My friend ended up texting me, "You called for backup?" as I waited in humiliation. FML
Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML
Today, the stall I was using didn't have any toilet paper in it. Being the immature idiot I am, I was too embarrassed to ask for someone to grab me some. So I waited 45 minutes for the bathroom to be empty and crept into the next stall, only to find it was also out of toilet paper. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
marinus_fml 20
Pretend it wasn't yours ;)
Matias_Says_FML 4
That stinks.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (190)
akwes 0
u should applied an ass gasket first aka toilet paper on seat and then u would of knew there was no paper
mintcar 10
This is incredibly disgusting. I understand the emergency, but really, it doesn't take away from the disgust. I wonder how you even got out the situation.....
mintcar 10
^ of*
benJ13_fml 5
me too I wanna know the answer. it would be horribe.. =/ Big FML for you
perdix 31
Pick it up with your panties, flush 'em and go commando until you get home. Just hope that no guy you like gets within 20 feet of you to smell your unwiped bunghole.
Zmeilerr 22
TMI, Perdix lol.
mubaki 18
well if OP was going to use her panties to pick up the poo anyway, she could've used them to wipe first ;P
noshtsherlock 0
smart thinking #49 :)
Zmeilerr 22
you too 59
sammers3282 2
Well.. i've never heard of "stand and poop" maybe "squat and pee.." but come on ladies, thats an impossible task for us, only men can do it right... sometimes. We end up just peeing on ourselfs. Like #25 said, you should have applied toliet paper... oh right you didn't have any. FYL for not checking that first. Were you just gonna pull your undies up after your poop and walk around with stained poop undies? eww.. or if you pee'd were you just gonna shake until you were dry? Lesson learned ladies, never use public bathrooms for one, 2.. well always make sure theres toliet paper. :]
caraphernelia 0
i've never heard of the 'stand and poo' either.. if you would've been smart enough to put the toilet paper over the potty (so it doesn't touch you), maybe you would've seen there was no toilet paper! and then you wouldn't have shit on the floor ..
ulicksam 0
People like you are the reason they're dirty. YDI.
1990TD 6
Oh my god! Finally someone who gets it! PEOPLE WHOM BELIEVE PUBLIC BATHROOMS ARE DIRTY, ARE THE REASON THAT THEY'RE ACTUALLY DIRTY!!! Man, I really hate these people. They're so Damn stupid! Grab some toilet paper (oh right, she didn't has some) and whipe the toiletseat clean, f#cking idiots :@
aback 5
Exactly. I've never heard of anyone catching anything from a toilet seat. Ever. Theoretically, you could, but hey--instead of all the bathroom gymnastics you go through trying to keep OMG the backs of your thighs from actually touching a toilet seat(!!!!!), you could carry some sanitizing wipes, instead. Or at least lift the seat so you don't piss/shit all over it. Because feces splashed all over a public place? Now THAT'S an actual biohazard.
catatonicsleep 17
there's supposed to be more germs on computer keyboards than on toilet seats....
persimmon 0
YES
SarahMarie83 0
My thoughts exactly! I hate public bathrooms but I'm courteous enough not to make a mess by trying to avoid touching a toilet seat.
windfuelsfire 10
owned!
HentaiBunny 4
Walk out and be like "ugh who did that!!" Lol
wolftastic 0
you're hot:D!!
yummycupcakegirl 0
Check for paper first....
benJ13_fml 5
when you really want to go to bathroom, you don't have the time to check the paper... ^^ Me I can't xD
itsmekids 0
haha exactly
Julietta_fml 4
I'm interested to know how you got out of that shitty situation :D
Zmeilerr 22
I assume she let the furry animal out and went nude the whole way home.
MrRawwr84 0
arr i posted the same joke :P GMTA