Today, I was in a public washroom and I had to take a dump. I knew how dirty the toilets were, so tried to do the "stand and poo." Unfortunately, I slipped and the poo fell on the ground. Then I realized there were no paper towels. There was a line outside waiting. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was taking a dump at a public restroom. As I reached over to grab the toilet paper, I realized someone had peed on it. FML
Today, I had to pee badly. I went into a stall and sat down. Only until after I'd peed, I realized that I didn't have any toilet paper. I waddled to the next stall with my pants down to get more toilet paper, believing that the bathroom was empty. It wasn't. FML
Today, I was shopping in a mall when I needed to go to the bathroom. One of the toilets was out of order, so I went to the other toilet. After that, there was no toilet paper, so when I saw tissue in the sink, I left the stall with my pants down and someone saw me. FML
Today, I had diarrhea in a public bathroom. When I was finished, I noticed that someone had pissed all over the toilet paper. FML
Today. I used the restroom at the mall. After I wiped, I went to toss the paper into the toilet. I missed horribly. The wad of TP with poop on it landed on the floor of the next stall. It was occupied. FML
Today, I was in a public bathroom with the runs when I noticed my stall didn't have any toilet paper. I was the only one in the bathroom, and I thought I could make it to the stall next to me and grab some with my pants down. I wasn't actually the only one in there. FML
Today, I had to take an urgent dump at work. I noticed too late there was no toilet paper left, so I had to risk doing a quick "pants around the knees" shuffle to the next stall. I locked eyes with the window cleaner at the same time I heard someone enter from behind me. FML
Today, I had just sat down and taken a dump in a public restroom when I realized there was no toilet paper. I tried to discreetly call for help, but no one heard me. My only option was to text a friend and have them bring me some. The worst part? My friend ended up texting me, "You called for backup?" as I waited in humiliation. FML
Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML
Today, the stall I was using didn't have any toilet paper in it. Being the immature idiot I am, I was too embarrassed to ask for someone to grab me some. So I waited 45 minutes for the bathroom to be empty and crept into the next stall, only to find it was also out of toilet paper. FML
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Top comments
marinus_fml 20
Pretend it wasn't yours ;)
Matias_Says_FML 4
That stinks.
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Comments (190)
kylemarisa 0
your just an idiot. why would u put that story on here
funzcpl 0
right?!
willykins009 0
this is fml. why wouldnt they put it on here?
Deitsu 1
This story could easily have been made up..you don't know that for sure though. As for the OP, just remember. Shit happens.
Anyoniemous 0
Haha YDI Op, If a toilets dirty put toilet paper on the seat and sit on the toilet paper! :)
sammers3282 2
There wasn't any duh.. but she noticed that AFTER.
theblackhannah 0
that's why you should always check for paper smh
skyeyez9 25
Even if you aimed properly, the poop would have made a huge splash from your standing position and splashed shit water all over you, the toilet seat.
themixedt4pe 0
You know what's dirtier? Money. I've seen a couple of studies on bacteria cultures from money vs. public restroom toilet seats. Guess which one "won"? I'll give you a hint, it's not the toilet seat you should be worried about.
marial9na 0
oh man... i m soooo sorry about it... i dont know and i hope I never will be in your siruation... oh man...
Pocahontas22_fml 0
gross
no_words 0
damnn..sucks for you:P
ChibiGirl5 0
why not just stick toilet paper on the seat oh wait you didn't have any why not call out and ask someone for some or a hole roll before you crap???
teameminem 2
You may think that they are super gross, but there are such people called janitors that clean them daily. Licking the seat of a public toilet is actually cleaner than licking a 5 dollar bill, believe it or not. That was a very stupid thing to do, I say YDI for trying to poo standing up!