Today, I had to go to my daughter's school because she hasn't been going to class. Her teacher seemed surprised to see me with my husband when we arrived. Apparently I "died" recently and my daughter has had extra responsibility around the house, hence why she doesn't come to class. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my daughter's school called to inform me that I needed to bring her some sneakers. Not feeling like driving the 15 minutes to her school, I told them I was away from town. Then I realized I was on my house phone. FML
Today, I had to go along with my mom to meet some of her old friends from high school. When they asked her about how her life was going, she said she was married, always traveling, no kids, and introduced me as the neighbor's kid she babysits. FML
Today, I went to pick up my daughter from school. The secretary said that my husband had already picked her up two hours ago. I don't have a husband. He left while I was pregnant with her 6 years ago. The secretary said “no one told her” she had to check ID’s before releasing a child for early dismissal. FML
Today, one of my friends made it to school. He has been sick recently, missing days out of the week. When I saw him, I greeted him with, "Were you dying yesterday?" Apparently he wasn't, but his grandmother really did. FML
Today, it was my daughter's birthday. I didn't know I had a daughter. FML
Today, my English teacher asked me why I didn't have my project completed. Thinking quick on my feet, I told her it was because my grandmother had just passed away. Apparently they go to the same country club and have known each other for years. My teacher started crying and ran out of the room. FML
Today, our little family business was asked to do a presentation at my daughter's school. When we got there and I saw her, I waved to her happily but she totally blanked me, plus my super strict mom smacked me on the back of the head for embarrassing her by not acting professionally while I was technically working. FML
Today, I went back to school after missing the first 2 weeks of the new school year. I got grilled in my first lesson by my teacher for "gallivanting around on holiday in some sunny place" when I should've been at school learning. My dad had died from liver cancer. FML
Today, I was doing my job and trying to teach a lazy bunch of 16-year-olds. A girl entered the room just 15 minutes before class ended, so I snapped, "Someone had better have died for you to be this late!" She immediately burst into tears. Turns out, someone had. FML
Today, my mom talked me into going to a funeral since my dad wouldn't go. It was for one of her classmates. When it was our time to view the casket, we paused in front of it for a second before my mom leans over to me and says, "What if I told you that was really your dad?" FML
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Top comments
XDsmileyDX_fml 24
I'm trying to picture the look on the teachers face.
calypso1212 14
Like that was never going to catch up with her........
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Comments (133)
patrickalamo 48
Holy shit, that is devious.
TheyCallMeDamien 18
She's a semi-adept liar.
bizarre_ftw 22
At least she goes all-out
bizarre_ftw 22
Your daughter is brilliant
rightspark 7
She is a good liar in bad situations, that school is making her lie a lot she needs spankering
GUNN1313 3
Did you have a nice funeral at least sounds like it will be your kids last party for some time.
LexieWins 0
And her cellphone will be taken away. I hated when my parents did that !
KingCeltic77 18
Sounds like what Drake Parker's excuse of not going to gym class was.
yenidewi 11
is she really your daughter ? what a liar !
xLoLa_fml 6
Ha, this happened on an episode of Drake & Josh.
thepooburgler 2
Take an extended vacation. Then she really will have extra responsibilities.