Today, I had to go along with my mom to meet some of her old friends from high school. When they asked her about how her life was going, she said she was married, always traveling, no kids, and introduced me as the neighbor's kid she babysits. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom decided to have a get together at my house while I was at work. When I came home, she pulled me aside and asked me to pretend to be her maid. FML
Today, I was meeting my husband's old friends at his 20 year high school reunion. He introduced me as his 'friend from work' to his ex girlfriend. FML
Today, in front of the entire family, I yelled at my mom and told her she wasn't a good parent. She responded with, "Well, at least I had friends when I was your age." FML
Today, I was visited by a high school friend who lives in another state. She was furious because I got married a few months ago, and she kinda had feelings for me. I had to ask her to leave. Here's the funny thing: she's been married for 4 years and they have a son, and she didn't even invite me to her wedding back then. FML
Today, I found out that all of the times my mom told me that she was busy out of town wasn’t due to work, it was that she was going on vacations with her boyfriend and his kids. FML
Today, my mum and I were walking down a road where we met an old neighbour who recently got divorced. Her son who we hadn't seen for about 10 years was with her and he looked very handsome. I said, "oh wow ! your son has grown up so much !" The woman replied, "this is my boyfriend." FML
Today, my ex-husband came to pick up our two kids for his weekend with them. Seeing his new girlfriend was in the car, and desperate for conversation, I asked her name. My kids unhesitatingly blurted out, "Mom". FML
Today, I had to go to my daughter's school because she hasn't been going to class. Her teacher seemed surprised to see me with my husband when we arrived. Apparently I "died" recently and my daughter has had extra responsibility around the house, hence why she doesn't come to class. FML
Today, I visited my in-laws, whom I thought I was on great terms with. I soon learned that wasn't the case when my mother-in-law yelled at me about how I've been abusing her for years. Ten minutes later, she hugged me and asked me for grandkids. FML
Today, I went over to confront my parents about how my siblings always get to visit and all I do when I’m over is work on their house or take care of grandma. My mom was very upset. Then she snuck out with my sister, leaving me to take care of grandma until she got back. FML
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Top comments
rndg 0
Why would she bring a kid she babysits with her when she goes to meet her friends? She's terrible at lying. FYL.
buggybeauty 0
harsh
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Comments (146)
beelo44 0
shoulda said you've been sleeping together
ballistic 2
you must suck as a child. srry op
wiggz1990 0
meh she wanted to look good infront of ppl she's not gonna see for a long time again ,, she didn't mean anything bad don't get mad at her
allenrotstein 0
she just wanna look good in front of her old friends, not a FML here
revoclimber 0
#6 I don't know if you realize this but your mother being embarrassed of your existence is about as bad as it gets
tweetbaby14 18
just let her have her moment, and then when you two get home make her life a living hell.
fendr 0
her life must suck
zZsleeperrZz 0
u should have said, " wait!! what are you talking about, MOMMY!!!"
sammiller4 3
that's a little messed up
bigblue95 0
aawww whos a lil bastard. u are, u are. ur soooo cute
deathcab7 0
i dont see how in order for your mom to look "good" in front of her old friends means she needs to act like she doesnt have any kids. fyl op ):
computerpete 3
Does that mean that having children makes you look bad?
analo_fml 8
#6 of course she ment bad! in other words she is saying that her children were a mistake and that she is not happy with her life, so se faked it
Brittney_E 0
well if her mom was skinny, i'm sure she'd brag about having had a child. then there's the other side....
awesomeness1004 3
how old are you op cuz I'm pretty sure once you turn 10 you don't need a sitter anymore.
UpYoursInAdvance 0
4 Not Nessisarily, OPs mom could be a fake ******* Douche-bag and try to say that she is living the good life... Next time Op introduce a few friends of yours to you mother as "The lady that we took off of the street"
UpYoursInAdvance 0
32 Youre Georgeous BTW had to throw it out there...
lmaourlifeismess 0
exactly! at #32
Jizwold 0
82 no not at all
FFML_314 12
Says the giant question mark. I have yet to hear a conversation go, "What do you look for in a guy?" "Oh my, I like my man to be curved and have a nice big black period right at the end." Shut your bitch ass up.
Jizwold 0
I just have the app and I'm not gona go on the website just to put a pic up and I didn't mean it as an insult to that one chick I just meant she's not to the point where u have to comment about her beauty
groovis 2
You should have looked at her friends and quietly shook your head and then in a compassionate voice said "I think it's time for another pill now" and then while gently pulling her arm to leave look back at her friends saying "this is why I had to come along, the doctor's say she needs constant supervision now and whenever her grasp on reality slips like this, we need to go somewhere quiet and get her to take her meds" and no matter how your Mom reacted to this keep pulling at her arm saying "come on Mom, you'll be alright again soon and then you can come back and talk to the nice people"
liller90 0
104 - That was the most epic win I've ever heard. You won the game. Oops.
turtlemansam 6
Next time she won't let you do sumthin, just be like "remember that time where you said I wasn't ur son"?
Jizwold 0
**** u! I wasn't saying she was ugly or anything just not like stunningly beautiful and I already said I'm not gona go outa my way to put a pic up so u can all suck my balls I'm gona go get a beer and slide off this plane
InfiltratedMind 0
basically what 110 is saying is that he I gunna go watch some **** and "slide off the plane" ;) got it
fuff_fml 4
that's sick #1 haha
groovis 2
106 - thanks! :-) I do what I can *bows*
liller90 0
118 - I'm doing it tomorrow.
tweetbaby14 18
I think it's funny how people don't understand that FML is an app and not just a website and, they are constantly telling people on the app to put up pics when it's not possible. way to join the dim bulb club people.
Chrisskiies 0
Actually we all know it's an app, seeing as most of us go on it trough the app. I just find it very ******* annoying when someone talks shit about smothers pic, yet they don't have the courage to put one of themselves up.
hoghunter 1
#13 I totaly agree how anyone can say "it's no big deal." is beyond me. that's probably the biggest hit to a kids self esteem I have ever heard. and as for those who think it's no big deal i sincerely hope you never have children. becuase all they will accomplish in life is being a permanent habitant of our prison system.
Jonkbaby 23
tell her you're ready for your babysitter pay. boom. next.
justferfun 0
sweet candy I love ur hair an ur really pretty
SpaceMannn 0
i sure hope you cussed her out and went wild, she isnt your "mother" so its all good. (:
buggybeauty 0
harsh
modelshark 0
should of bitch slappedher or called her out on it
rndg 0
Why would she bring a kid she babysits with her when she goes to meet her friends? She's terrible at lying. FYL.
Brittney_E 0
because the parents are out and the kid has no where to go. durr.
softball_chick6 0
I would have bitch slapped her and walked off
anabby62907 0
im with you 9 and **** your mom op
Chrisskiies 0
No they wouldn't have. I would tell my "mother" I disown her and walk away, wouldn't hit her tho.
Ttime21921 0
na pussy
MeGustaComer 0
You should've corrected your mom obnoxiously so her friends would know the little pride your mom has.
illmatic2 16
I would definetly use this moment to my advantage. Op make her feel guilty or threaten to tell her friends, then mKe her buy you stuff.
illmatic2 16
*make Stupid comment bug.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Or act like an ass. Insult the friends, eat like a pig, and throw a tantrum. When she corrects you, yell "YOU'RE NOT MY MOM!"
groovis 2
89 you are also on the right track! The secret here is to turn this back on the Mom. There is gold here OP, be creative and mine it!!
kkows25 10
omg yass!!!! best comment ever!!!!
starile 20
Yeah let her know she's a bitch for denying her own children.
Hikarishimizu 13
Your mom's a bitch. You should have said something rediculous about her to them so that she'd regret it.
nanner6206 24
ridiculous