Today, I had to go to my daughter's school because she hasn't been going to class. Her teacher seemed surprised to see me with my husband when we arrived. Apparently I "died" recently and my daughter has had extra responsibility around the house, hence why she doesn't come to class. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my daughter's school called to inform me that I needed to bring her some sneakers. Not feeling like driving the 15 minutes to her school, I told them I was away from town. Then I realized I was on my house phone. FML
Today, I had to go along with my mom to meet some of her old friends from high school. When they asked her about how her life was going, she said she was married, always traveling, no kids, and introduced me as the neighbor's kid she babysits. FML
Today, I went to pick up my daughter from school. The secretary said that my husband had already picked her up two hours ago. I don't have a husband. He left while I was pregnant with her 6 years ago. The secretary said “no one told her” she had to check ID’s before releasing a child for early dismissal. FML
Today, one of my friends made it to school. He has been sick recently, missing days out of the week. When I saw him, I greeted him with, "Were you dying yesterday?" Apparently he wasn't, but his grandmother really did. FML
Today, it was my daughter's birthday. I didn't know I had a daughter. FML
Today, my English teacher asked me why I didn't have my project completed. Thinking quick on my feet, I told her it was because my grandmother had just passed away. Apparently they go to the same country club and have known each other for years. My teacher started crying and ran out of the room. FML
Today, our little family business was asked to do a presentation at my daughter's school. When we got there and I saw her, I waved to her happily but she totally blanked me, plus my super strict mom smacked me on the back of the head for embarrassing her by not acting professionally while I was technically working. FML
Today, I went back to school after missing the first 2 weeks of the new school year. I got grilled in my first lesson by my teacher for "gallivanting around on holiday in some sunny place" when I should've been at school learning. My dad had died from liver cancer. FML
Today, I was doing my job and trying to teach a lazy bunch of 16-year-olds. A girl entered the room just 15 minutes before class ended, so I snapped, "Someone had better have died for you to be this late!" She immediately burst into tears. Turns out, someone had. FML
Today, my mom talked me into going to a funeral since my dad wouldn't go. It was for one of her classmates. When it was our time to view the casket, we paused in front of it for a second before my mom leans over to me and says, "What if I told you that was really your dad?" FML
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Top comments
XDsmileyDX_fml 24
I'm trying to picture the look on the teachers face.
calypso1212 14
Like that was never going to catch up with her........
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Comments (133)
yourmofo 6
Wow that excuse should have been recalled back in the 80's.
HunterAlpha1 8
you better nip that lying streak in the bud or you're going to have a real problem on your hands later. i recommend a slotted wooden spoon liberally applied to the posterior.
GEEALVARADO 0
REST IN PEACE
bethrocksya 9
^ Haha! That's hilarious! :D
Likian5 26
God damn, that was funny XD
LN666 2
Uywow. abit disrespectful to her mother to say she is 'dead'. thats horrible! but shes abit of a dumbass to think you wont find out!?! haha. she needs to stay in school since she thinks that excuse would never have been caught out. :) Goodluck with her. some serious consequences heading your waaay! (to the daughter)
talloctopus 7
Ouch!
TrueFG 2
Best get her out of that stupid school, the teacher should have called in regard to that and to get legal permission for her to skip classes.
xRezSynn 15
Wow
xXToxicPenguinXx 12
Reminds me of a Drake and Josh episode
fantasyworld 39
Reminds me of Drake and Josh.