Today, while answering an "anonymous" survey about how to keep my school drug free, I told them they should stop drug testing the kids that they know don't do drugs and test the sketchier ones. They in turn drug tested me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was told I would not be getting the job I was offered because I failed my drug test. They never gave me a drug test. FML
Today, I'm a proud non drug user, but I trusted an oat cookie at my brother's birthday, which was loaded with pot. Tomorrow is our mandatory drug screening at work, my job is government based, and I worked my ass off to get it. Anyone who tests positive or misses the test is sacked immediately. FML
Today, my boss decided to have the whole staff drug tested and fire everyone who failed. Out of an original staff of 14 people, only my boss, two coworkers and I remain. I now have four times my normal workload and am seriously thinking maybe I should've said "Yes" to drugs. FML
Today, I called the campus police "anonymously" while my roommate was away and told them about her weed stash because I was tired of her smoking in our room all the time. She had taken her weed to a friend's and got off scot-free. I have a hearing Monday for the Adderall they found in my desk. FML
Today, I found out why I receive random drug tests at work. The safety department was specifically told by my boss to check up on me because I always seem way too cheerful to not be high. I've passed every single test. FML
Today, I had to resign from my job because I tested positive for drugs. I've never taken drugs. FML
Today, I was told I've secured the job I applied for at my local hospital. Being just 19, this is a great opportunity, and I told my parents. They angrily asked if I'd applied just to get access to drugs, then demanded to know how I'd managed to pass the drug test. Thanks for the confidence. FML
Today, after arriving, I was told that there will be mandatory drug tests for everybody at my work. Yesterday, I did joints at a friend's party, as it was her birthday. I'm fucked. FML
Today, I had to be an observer for a drug test at work. Me and two others got to watch 130 guys take a piss, and then leave work two hours later than everyone else. FML
Today, I found out that the only reason my parents have been letting me hang out with my friends so late is so they can search my room for drugs. FML
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Top comments
\ 28
This warrants a call to the school district... your privacy seems to have been compromised.
jensen21 19
I know quite a few kids that do drugs that don't look sketchy at all. How would they be able to tell for sure if someone did drugs without testing them first?
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Comments (124)
friedpwnadge 25
Your pun is bad and you should feel bad.
purebliss_fml 19
Hold on... They do drug testing on high school students in the US? Wtf...
imessedwithtexas 13
Yes they do. And if you fail they don't allow you to participate in any extra-curricular activities. At least thats what my old High School did.
purebliss_fml 19
Shouldn't they use the funding that goes toward drug tests on drug education programs? If kids are given enough information on the effects of drugs they may be less likely to try them and if they still do, well that's their choice.
SunAndMoon427 12
55- Why am I not surprised to see that you're a criminal justice major? Those people always act like their better than everyone else...it all makes sense now why you seem to hate weed so much.
Faff 20
55- Your comment just proves that yóu are the one with blinders on. Stop believing all the propaganda you hear and start thinking for yourself.
Ciraxas 7
99 - you're the biggest ******* idiot ever
lostmongoose 23
99 if you love justice so much then you shouldn't support random drug testing in high school. My psych teacher actually took a day out of the lesson plan to tell us our rights as students because she heard us talking about random backpack and even strip searches. It's like when a cop pulls you over and ask to look in your trunk randomly. You can say no because they have no reason, but most people don't know that. In the case of high school just call your parents, they pretty much can't do a thing if you do that. Plus I think you are over reacting a little. To much of a ok or even good thing can kill you. And everyone's situation is different. I'll grant that most just do it for fun, but I would say not to a point that's harmful.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
There are drug info programs that kids go through in elementary and middle school. They will still experiment. I never did, but I know a lot of people who did. Random drug testing isn't a bad thing, they need to quit doing drugs and if getting busted by the cops is what it takes then so be it.
josh8215 21
Come to think of it, wouldn't randomized drug testing be the most ideal?
EvilUndead 9
Well, what did you expect to happen? Next time talk about false positives in drug testing instead. If false positive rate is 10%, then 1 in 10 drug tested students will be falsely accused of doing drugs.
toomanyidiots 14
False positives occur in 5-10%. False negatives occur in 10-15%. I'm assuming subsequent testing would be ordered. http://www.cbsnews.com/2100-500368_162-6537635.html
EvilUndead 9
28, 5 percent is a lot. If a university has, say, 10000 people that don't do drugs, and you drug-test them all, there'll be 500 falsely accused people.
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
I don't do drugs and never have done them in my life. However I find this drug testing obsession in the USA really strange and so against civil liberties. One of the perfect examples of the multiple contradictions of the so-called "Home of the Free". Fair enough that they do it in jobs where life of others is at stake (doctors, airline pilots, etc). And even, there is a fine line. Someone can smoke a joint or be in a room where people smoked a joint over the weekend and they will test positive weeks after. What you do at home should be your own business. Same for kids, it's the parents business to keep that in check, not the school.
Shade1982 21
I find your post slightly disturbing. First off, I've seen drug testing in schools all over the world, not just US. Secondly, since when is using drugs a civil liberty? In most countries it is illegal anyway, what would you say if your kid turned up drunk at school and failed one of his exams? Would you accept it if the school would tell you 'it is not their concern'? I sure wouldn't. Considering the fact kids spend a lot of time at school where they should be learning things, it is part of the schools responsibility as well.
Faff 20
Yes. because you really need a drug test to see if a person is under influence during school hours.
buddy51 23
OP, this is close to the height of YDI! And it's a good lesson for you too! Don't like how it feels to be profiled? Really!?!? Then don't suggest profiling as your "solution" to the drug problem! Lesson learned? I hope so!!
Enslaved 38
Drug testing in schools? I guess Adderall and Ritalin don't count right? :P
D3ATHZ3RO 15
And? Were you positive?
parabel 12
How is this legal?!
Lady_Bee_fml 13
This pisses me off so much...what exactly does 'sketchy' look like? A guy with long hair? A girl with piercings? Any kid who isn't in the preppy in-crowd? You completely deserve this for using such stupid stereotypes and being so ignorant, OP.