Today, my 12-year-old son was shot in the foot. After hours of not talking, including to the police, he finally told us that his friend accidentally shot him with his dad's gun, and that he didn't want to say anything because he didn't want to "lose any street cred by snitching." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to take my son to the emergency room for shooting himself in the ass with a BB gun. FML
Today, my 14 year-old son asked to join my buddies and me at the gun range. The second I finished the safety lecture and handed him a pistol, he started twirling it on his finger (thankfully, it was unloaded). I smacked him in the head and took him home. Now he's moping and sulking like a bitch. FML
Today, while sitting in a waiting room, a man assured me, "The safety's on" after he handed his kid his BB gun. A minute later, I practically had a hole in my foot. FML
Today, my teenage son broke into my gun safe, took my gun, and dumped the magazine into the side of his ex-girlfriend's family home. He's completely stunned that he was arrested and charged with attempted murder. My wife blames me and wants a divorce. FML
Today, my Dad told me that I was named after the dog he accidentally shot in the head as a teenager. FML
Today, I was babysitting an eleven year-old boy. He decided we would play with Nerf guns with Velcro tips. I shot him in the crotch accidentally, and the dart stuck to his pants, and he wiggled it for about a full minute before his dad walked in to find us both staring at his son's crotch, giggling. FML
Today, my 18-year old son decided to run his hand over our wooden fence to try and get a splinter, as he "forgot what they felt like." Last month, he stabbed himself in the arm with a sewing needle because he "forgot what an injection feels like." I raised this idiot. FML
Today, while at school, some jerk shot me in the foot with a BB gun. While in agonizing pain, I yelled, "FUCK" as loud as possible. A teacher walked by, oblivious to the fact I had just been shot with a BB gun and wrote me up for, "Disrespectful language". FML
Today, I went shooting with my dad and he brought his grandfather's rifle with him. I’ve never shot it before and he told me to be careful with it. The bullet exploded, ruptured the barrel, cut my face, and made me deaf in one ear. Dad still blamed me for “not shooting it properly.” FML
Today, my son broke his arm roughhousing with his brother on a bunk bed. While at the ER, he thought it would be funny to tell a different story to each doctor and nurse, forcing me to speak over him. They found this behavior "suspicious" and reported us to child services. FML
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Top comments
Ranimal 12
He is going down a very bad and dark path. You need to have a serious talk to him and cut this bullshit out fast.
michaelaranda 28
The perils of raising a wannabe suburban gangster.
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Comments (172)
Nessuh95 7
Oh my geezus!! I couldn't help but laugh at what your son said! lol!
bluerhhajfk 17
This is gonna need some more explaining from the poster.
aidankelly 6
He shouldve been shot in the face
jw90 18
Kids these days are growing up to be idiods.
NichEzec 4
Its your time to step in as a parent.
still_guns 16
Tell him he ain't allowed no hoes
Hamz1989 13
He needs an intervention fast.
bosox29 14
When I was growing up we didn't get "a long talking to" we got our asses tore up. Maybe try that and knock the "thug" right out of him. BTW I am now a responsible gun owner myself after growing up in a house where we weren't allowed to touch my dads guns.
KingReppin956 15
Thug life
athos1237 4
You raised an idiot. IJS