Today, whilst sat next to a old lady on a flight back to the UK, I exclaimed how I wished somebody would gag the crying baby a few rows behind us. Her reply was, "That's my grandson." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after years of wonderful flying experiences, I boarded a flight and took my seat only to find a baby sitting in front of me, behind me, and to the right of me, and across the aisle from me. All of whom decided to cry in unison. It was a 9-hour flight. FML
Today, I was on a plane with my grandma. A cute guy sat down next to her. She asked his age. He told her he was 16. She said, "Oh, that's how old my granddaughter here is." She then turned to me and said loudly, "You should switch seats with me, he's HOT!" Well, at least Grandma loves me. FML
Today, a woman strapped her 8-year-old son into the seat next to me on a transatlantic flight. Thinking they'd been unable to book seats together, I offered to swap seats with her. She said she'd booked it this way intentionally, because he's a "fucking brat" on flights. She was right. FML
Today, I was sitting on a plane waiting for everyone to get on. A cute guy around my age had the option of sitting next to me or an old guy. He gave me a horrified look and immediately sat next to the old man. I got to sit next to his mother. She evil eyed me the whole time. FML
Today, I was sat next to a screaming baby on a 9-hour flight. Now before anyone has a go at me, I am in no way blaming the baby, I’m blaming the mother with her makeup hair and nails done perfectly, with her AirPods on, staring at her phone, and ignoring her screaming child the full 9 hours. FML
Today, my tired son and I were riding a shuttle bus. An old lady got on, and I told him we needed to get up so she could have the seat. He started crying and screamed, "WHY? She's old, she's gonna die soon!" I wanted to melt into the ground. FML
Today, my one-year-old son threw up on the man sitting next to us on a plane. I felt bad and apologized profusely. When I tried to give him money for dry cleaning, he slapped me. FML
Today, a woman with the cutest baby ever sat next to us at Starbucks. My response: “Aw, how cute.” My adult daughter's response: “Ew.” No chance of a grandchild anytime soon I think. FML
Today, I was on a three hour flight to Los Angeles for a corporate meeting. The woman next to me instantly fell asleep and snored louder than a freight train, while the kid behind me made a hobby of thashing my seat from behind. When I peered over and asked him to stop, he spat in my face. FML
Today, I helped a lady give birth on the train. She was so happy she asked if she could name the baby after me, but as I told her my name she visibly turned her nose up at it, turned to her husband, and suggested naming it after his grandfather instead. FML
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Top comments
ajohnson2318 0
screaming kids suck
alewiina 0
I feel for you, OP. I usually love kids, but if I hear another one screaming uncontrollably on the bus or at work, I am going to kill something. even worse because 90% of the time, parents don't even try to tell them off. some don't even glance down at the kid as it screams loud enough to shatter glass. e_o
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Comments (232)
FYLDeep 26
Sucks, but whatya gonna do? Beyond giving them a pacifier there's not much you can do. Although, you still should have kept your mouth shut.
Ragnir 0
I couldn't agree more, must of been a LONG flight back.
carm3nl1 0
this reminds me of a scene of that candy bar commercial "need a moment?" grab a snickers.. then u wouldve thought of a good response..? lol.
Rainbow_dumpster 28
#42, That "Need a moment"commercial was from a TWIX commercial. Not Snickers. You need to watch more TV...or at least go to the website. :|
Sweetest_Cherry 0
She tried. Give her that much :-)
starile 20
Mmm candy! Yeah I think Snickers' slogan is "Hungry? Why wait?"
Harmie 0
f her life not yours. people really need to stop subjecting us all to their screaming children. STAY HOME WITH YOUR KIDS DOUCHEBAGS!!!
killabee 0
Whilst sat? Really?
starile 20
They talk like that more in the UK than in the US, I think.
nerdsgetmehot 23
I use "whilst" quite a bit-- not so much when I talk out loud, but definitely when I'm writing.
killabee 0
It wasn't so much the whilst, it was the sat. Maybe whilst seated, or whilst sitting, but whilst sat just sounds like crap.
WondaBread518 3
hahaha i could only imagine the rest of the flight
hipar 0
ydi for being an ass hole. your lucky she didn't smack you.
Link_Asriel 0
not really coz then he could have gotten a lawsuit out of it and made granny go to an old folks home where she belongs. damned old people. joking of course.
Alesana_Love 0
YDI for not flying first class. That's what you get!
misfitSuperStar 0
People take babies in first class, too. There's no discrimination.
Alesana_Love 0
a person with a child is less likely to fly first class.
Just_John 0
OH SNAP!!!!!!!!!
nerdsgetmehot 23
Crying babies freak me out a little bit.
Geiko_fml 0
O.o
nerdsgetmehot 23
#61 What? They do! :P I always feel really guilty and terrified when babies start crying, like it's my fault or something (even when it's obviously not).
Norwegian_Wood 4
57/65: I'm so glad I'm not the only one! What a relief, haha. I know exactly how you feel.
Geiko_fml 0
I feel bad when they cry too, because I can't get them to stop so they can at least be Happppyyyyy. But I understand what you mean. :P
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
I'm with you there, nerds. Babies in general scare the crap out of me. That's one reason I'm not a mom. Another is the whole pregnancy thing. Yes, I know it's a miracle and whatnot, but to have a spine, eyeballs, fingernails, hair growing inside my body... then there's the whole possibility of milk teeth. Yeesh, creepy. O.o
nerdsgetmehot 23
I'm so glad I'm not the only one! I don't feel quite so silly now.
I_have_no_clue 0
Take into account that the poor baby's ears were hurting and had no way of relieving the pressure. Yes being stuck on a plane with a crying baby sucks, but it's not forever. That could be your baby one day, doucher.
misfitSuperStar 0
Wouldn't be my baby as I'm medically unable to have one. Parents should try to think ahead to at least TRY to plan for if their child starts wailing.
I_have_no_clue 0
96 I agree with you, but most people who fly with small babies have never done it before and aren't sure how to soothe their ears.