Today, whilst sat next to a old lady on a flight back to the UK, I exclaimed how I wished somebody would gag the crying baby a few rows behind us. Her reply was, "That's my grandson." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after years of wonderful flying experiences, I boarded a flight and took my seat only to find a baby sitting in front of me, behind me, and to the right of me, and across the aisle from me. All of whom decided to cry in unison. It was a 9-hour flight. FML
Today, I was on a plane with my grandma. A cute guy sat down next to her. She asked his age. He told her he was 16. She said, "Oh, that's how old my granddaughter here is." She then turned to me and said loudly, "You should switch seats with me, he's HOT!" Well, at least Grandma loves me. FML
Today, a woman strapped her 8-year-old son into the seat next to me on a transatlantic flight. Thinking they'd been unable to book seats together, I offered to swap seats with her. She said she'd booked it this way intentionally, because he's a "fucking brat" on flights. She was right. FML
Today, I was sitting on a plane waiting for everyone to get on. A cute guy around my age had the option of sitting next to me or an old guy. He gave me a horrified look and immediately sat next to the old man. I got to sit next to his mother. She evil eyed me the whole time. FML
Today, I was sat next to a screaming baby on a 9-hour flight. Now before anyone has a go at me, I am in no way blaming the baby, I’m blaming the mother with her makeup hair and nails done perfectly, with her AirPods on, staring at her phone, and ignoring her screaming child the full 9 hours. FML
Today, my tired son and I were riding a shuttle bus. An old lady got on, and I told him we needed to get up so she could have the seat. He started crying and screamed, "WHY? She's old, she's gonna die soon!" I wanted to melt into the ground. FML
Today, my one-year-old son threw up on the man sitting next to us on a plane. I felt bad and apologized profusely. When I tried to give him money for dry cleaning, he slapped me. FML
Today, a woman with the cutest baby ever sat next to us at Starbucks. My response: “Aw, how cute.” My adult daughter's response: “Ew.” No chance of a grandchild anytime soon I think. FML
Today, I was on a three hour flight to Los Angeles for a corporate meeting. The woman next to me instantly fell asleep and snored louder than a freight train, while the kid behind me made a hobby of thashing my seat from behind. When I peered over and asked him to stop, he spat in my face. FML
Today, I helped a lady give birth on the train. She was so happy she asked if she could name the baby after me, but as I told her my name she visibly turned her nose up at it, turned to her husband, and suggested naming it after his grandfather instead. FML
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Top comments
ajohnson2318 0
screaming kids suck
alewiina 0
I feel for you, OP. I usually love kids, but if I hear another one screaming uncontrollably on the bus or at work, I am going to kill something. even worse because 90% of the time, parents don't even try to tell them off. some don't even glance down at the kid as it screams loud enough to shatter glass. e_o
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Comments (232)
Taybabe2525 0
ouch :P babies r annoying though
Mauskau 36
rofl they shouldnt let babies on planes without a muzzle. it's impossible to sleep on a 28hour flight with babies screaming the entire time.
I_have_no_clue 0
I guess you never cried as a baby? And I've never heard of a baby crying 24 hours before so that must be some superhuman baby you're talking about.
I_have_no_clue 0
*28 hours
SarahMarie83 0
She said "babies," not "baby." With many babies on a plane, it's not far fetched to believe that at least one is crying for most of the ride. Although I can't imagine there would be very many on a 28 hour flight.
Link_Asriel 0
Well if parents did what Native Americans used to do they wouldn't cry ever. My parents did this to me and theirs to them, all you gotta do is when they start to cry....wait for it......put your hand over their mouth and they automatically shut up. Now I said mouth and NOT nose or else they cant breath. But you have to do that from early on or it wont work as well. Like if its a toddler it wont work at all. And yes I know that this was a technique used by Native Americans for safety and all since they carried their kids with them everywhere until they were old enough to walk and help out, but it can still be used today to help the rest of the population from hearing that little demonspawn for the entire flight.
Forever_Hyper 0
HAHAHA yew lewsur
99nein 0
FYL. Kids and planes are a baaaaad mix.
misfitSuperStar 0
WIN!!
Norwegian_Wood 4
Well, maybe you shouldn't talk about gagging a baby. No need to kill the child. But, like number 1 said, screaming kids suck. Especially on a flight, where you can't go anywhere to get away... FYL.
maybeurbaby 0
that totally sucks!!!
CACC_fml 0
Im guessin we dont have the same definition of the word gag lmao
Loveheart 0
Haha i would have slapped you :)
amberita28 0
I had a friend who was on a 12 hour flight with her 1 year old and this old man kept making noises every time her daughter would start crying and throwing a tantrum. She finally told the old fart, "She's one, your a grown ass man. Get over it." Lmao! The truth is you will never understand until you have children that there isn't a damn thing you can do about you baby or toddler crying and throwing tantrums. No one should complain because I bet you did the same shit when you were a child.
misfitSuperStar 0
1-I never flew until I was 30, so I did NOT do that. 2- I will never have children, as it's now medically impossible due to a hysterectomy @ 33.
EvilDave 13
Your friend should not have been flying with a one year old
PhillyFox 0
Why not? She should be forced to drive several hours just because she has a child? BTW if 1 year old's weren't allowed on airplanes, I wouldn't have been able to be adopted
amberita28 0
Who the hell are you to decide who should or shouldn't fly with a one year old. For your information, she lives in Hawaii and was flying to Texas to visit her family while her husband who is in the military was doing a tour over seas.
amberita28 0
Who cares? Nice to know you think your shit doesn't stink. Bitch please!
de2391 7
tell her it is her duty to gag it then