Today, whilst sat next to a old lady on a flight back to the UK, I exclaimed how I wished somebody would gag the crying baby a few rows behind us. Her reply was, "That's my grandson." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after years of wonderful flying experiences, I boarded a flight and took my seat only to find a baby sitting in front of me, behind me, and to the right of me, and across the aisle from me. All of whom decided to cry in unison. It was a 9-hour flight. FML
Today, I was on a plane with my grandma. A cute guy sat down next to her. She asked his age. He told her he was 16. She said, "Oh, that's how old my granddaughter here is." She then turned to me and said loudly, "You should switch seats with me, he's HOT!" Well, at least Grandma loves me. FML
Today, a woman strapped her 8-year-old son into the seat next to me on a transatlantic flight. Thinking they'd been unable to book seats together, I offered to swap seats with her. She said she'd booked it this way intentionally, because he's a "fucking brat" on flights. She was right. FML
Today, I was sitting on a plane waiting for everyone to get on. A cute guy around my age had the option of sitting next to me or an old guy. He gave me a horrified look and immediately sat next to the old man. I got to sit next to his mother. She evil eyed me the whole time. FML
Today, I was sat next to a screaming baby on a 9-hour flight. Now before anyone has a go at me, I am in no way blaming the baby, I’m blaming the mother with her makeup hair and nails done perfectly, with her AirPods on, staring at her phone, and ignoring her screaming child the full 9 hours. FML
Today, my tired son and I were riding a shuttle bus. An old lady got on, and I told him we needed to get up so she could have the seat. He started crying and screamed, "WHY? She's old, she's gonna die soon!" I wanted to melt into the ground. FML
Today, my one-year-old son threw up on the man sitting next to us on a plane. I felt bad and apologized profusely. When I tried to give him money for dry cleaning, he slapped me. FML
Today, a woman with the cutest baby ever sat next to us at Starbucks. My response: “Aw, how cute.” My adult daughter's response: “Ew.” No chance of a grandchild anytime soon I think. FML
Today, I was on a three hour flight to Los Angeles for a corporate meeting. The woman next to me instantly fell asleep and snored louder than a freight train, while the kid behind me made a hobby of thashing my seat from behind. When I peered over and asked him to stop, he spat in my face. FML
Today, I helped a lady give birth on the train. She was so happy she asked if she could name the baby after me, but as I told her my name she visibly turned her nose up at it, turned to her husband, and suggested naming it after his grandfather instead. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ajohnson2318 0
screaming kids suck
alewiina 0
I feel for you, OP. I usually love kids, but if I hear another one screaming uncontrollably on the bus or at work, I am going to kill something. even worse because 90% of the time, parents don't even try to tell them off. some don't even glance down at the kid as it screams loud enough to shatter glass. e_o
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (232)
dynky 3
I wish an airline would start running flights that were exclusively for people not travelling with children. They'd get my business. Every time I'm on a plane I have to practically sit on my hands to stop myself form getting up and strangling a small child who won't shut the **** up. I'm amazed that there aren't more cases where people lose it and start beating the little ****'s head off the cabin wall since that's what i always have urges to do.
sxm 13
your a dick. you asshole.
beachyfun5 0
ooh..maybe think before you speak next time :p
emmyers 0
You were once a baby like that one, so you have no right to complain.
EvilDave 13
No, I wasn't because my parents were smart enough not to fly with a baby.
misfitSuperStar 0
As were mine.
zenti 2
Just because you were a baby at one time doesn't mean you can't complain about other babies being obnoxiously loud.
amberita28 0
what if they were flying to a funeral you selfish bitches? just stfu and get over yourselves.
misfitSuperStar 0
I SAID unless absolutely necessary. Your language is showing your intelligence. Might want to hide all that classiness.
CloudEnvy 17
Well, that's the most random example I've seen on here so far. Also to poke the fire: Calling someone selfish for wanting a screaming youngling to stop screaming can easily be turned round to selfish parent taking said youngling into a confined space and demanding that others not be irritated by their loud bundle of joy. Hmph.
dynky 3
what's the point in taking a baby to a funeral? or anywhere for that matter. it's not going to take it in.
amberita28 0
Seriously, that's the stupidest question ever! Babies aren't pets you know, you kind of have to feed them and change them every once in a while, like every two hours or less. That's like 12x a day. She would have had to have found a sitter who wasn't some weirdo sex predator and it would've been really expensive because childcare isn't free you know? If she's breastfeeding that's not even an option. Babies are attached at the hip with mama if they are being breastfed. Please use your brain.
Anaxes 5
You do know that breastfeeding babies don't need breasts to gain milk right? If a mother dies in birth, the baby doesn't just die because the father doesn't lactate. Pets don't need to be fed? News to me. Not a weirdo sex predator? What kind of dumbass would be attracted to a baby? Flying on a plane is expensive, planes aren't cheap you know? If we need to use our brains, then you need to grow a brain.
amberita28 0
No shit, I know formula exists. Most mothers who are breastfeeding are doing it to avoid spending money on it and because breast is best! Of course pets eat but they don't need to be fed every two hours so you can leave them home and have someone come over to give them food every day, no big deal. Have you never heard of men actually trying to rape babies? I have, the youngest mother in the world was only five years old. Obviously there are sick people out there so you can't trust just anybody. I know you plane tickets cost money dip shit but I'm sure having to pay a sitter to watch your child 24 hours+ straight would cost more. I have a brain so get off my nuts you ******* dick licker.
Anaxes 5
You're mad. Emotions cloud judgement. Illogical opinions are created. You said breastfeeding makes it not an option. If you "knew" formula exists, don't bring up meaningless garbage then. 5 years old is not a baby. Maggots and flies. The possibility that the first person you find being a sexual predator is so low it isn't funny. Stop watching Law and Order. 24 hours straight? I'm pretty sure that if you leave a baby alone overnight it won't starve to death. Nobody with a lick of sense counts every 24 hours of a day because of something called "Night Time". As for having a brain, I'd ask you to please not lie, because lies make Baby Jesus cry. Stop reinforcing your stereotype.
banananut 0
it's strange how the grandma knew which baby OP was talking about, and exactly where it was.
christa953 12
agree with 1. my parents said I never screamed or cried in public as a baby or child, so it annoys me
zenti 2
Ugh, I hate kids. I'm glad I stuck with the decision never to have any. This kind of situation would set me off, too. I ride the train almost every day, and I always manage to end up in the same car as a screaming child with a parent who doesn't do anything about it. I know that sometimes it can't be stopped, but it's still annoying and we have the right to express how annoyed we are with it.
ChesterJester11 0
YDI. Brits are assholes.
sweetehpie 0
well that's ******* annoying why does she care gag her and the baby > : D