Today, while wandering around the big city I just relocated to, I asked a seemingly pleasant-looking lady where the nearest library was. She told me to get lost, and started laughing. Then said she was just joking and gave me directions. I'm now standing in front of a gay strip joint. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the library to bring back some books, I walked up to the counter and the librarian turned to me and said "What can I do for you young man?" I'm a girl. FML
Today, at a bar, a woman approched me and tried to set me up with her friend. Looking around, the only people in the bar were a man reading the paper and a very ugly woman, looking at me and smiling. I worriedly replied, "I'm sorry, but I'm gay." Turns out her friend was the one reading the paper. FML
Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML
Today, I saw an elderly woman struggling to reach the top shelf in my local grocery store, so I went over and asked if she needed help. She then accused me of flirting with her and had me escorted from the property. FML
Today, I was working at my desk when a colleague came over to my desk and said, “You loiter in gay bars”. I started having a panic attack because I thought he'd found out and would out me to my wife. Only when he began cracking up laughing did I realise it was a "joke." FML
Today, my friend wasn't responding to my whispers in the library, so I walked over and very slightly moved his chair. At that exact moment, the librarian walked in. Regardless of our efforts to tell her anything, she got us banned from the library. FML
Today, I tried to take a shortcut home. I got lost and had to ask a stranger for directions. They pointed to the street sign above me that literally had my street's name on it. FML
Today, I went to a library to return a book that I've had for years. After a heated discussion with the librarian, not only did she charge me over a hundred dollars for the book, she also called the cops to escort me out. FML
Today, I was getting catcalled downtown by a guy I've never seen before. Then he told me he knows where I live, and accurately described my apartment while he followed me for 2 blocks. FML
Today, my crazy neighbor came up to me in the street and slapped me across the face, accusing me of leering through her restroom window while she showered. I'm gay. FML
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Top comments
jenjen2633 17
It's always the innocent looking ones...
TheKingKen 22
It always makes me sad when a person's entertainment is at the expense of someone else. It happens all the time
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Comments (111)
bravesgirl55 11
I try my best to map out where I'm going, before I leave. However, I'm guessing you didn't have internet or a map at your disposal.
vikky538 29
you should have trusted google instead of that lady.. however thats how you meet new ppl..
ladoom 23
Come on people, admit it, it's funny! If your friend told you that this happened to them you would laugh!
PinkWalls 12
Was it called the library?
MrMoofinMan 19
I say you deserve it for being prejudice.. :c
JazNim17 18
How was OP being prejudiced? I don't understand your logic here.
DivinePrince 18
What the **** are you saying. The op sounds a lot nicer than you!
outcastnalone 1
God, I think this is funny. I needed it, to be a bit selfish. I just relocated to the Baltimore/Washington D.C. and it's big, spread out, and sometimes intimidating. Driving it sucks. The only way I get around is by using a GPS, so I can relate. Best wishes.
GentlemanBastard 15
Baltimore is a disgusting, dangerous, charming city. Enjoy it!
TechFire 25
Yep, you are definitely new to city life.
karimm_fml 6
Should've just ****** off
strike2867 13
She's been watching Police Academy too much.
AZai 5
She may misunderstood you