Today, while wandering around the big city I just relocated to, I asked a seemingly pleasant-looking lady where the nearest library was. She told me to get lost, and started laughing. Then said she was just joking and gave me directions. I'm now standing in front of a gay strip joint. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the library to bring back some books, I walked up to the counter and the librarian turned to me and said "What can I do for you young man?" I'm a girl. FML
Today, at a bar, a woman approched me and tried to set me up with her friend. Looking around, the only people in the bar were a man reading the paper and a very ugly woman, looking at me and smiling. I worriedly replied, "I'm sorry, but I'm gay." Turns out her friend was the one reading the paper. FML
Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML
Today, I saw an elderly woman struggling to reach the top shelf in my local grocery store, so I went over and asked if she needed help. She then accused me of flirting with her and had me escorted from the property. FML
Today, I was working at my desk when a colleague came over to my desk and said, “You loiter in gay bars”. I started having a panic attack because I thought he'd found out and would out me to my wife. Only when he began cracking up laughing did I realise it was a "joke." FML
Today, my friend wasn't responding to my whispers in the library, so I walked over and very slightly moved his chair. At that exact moment, the librarian walked in. Regardless of our efforts to tell her anything, she got us banned from the library. FML
Today, I tried to take a shortcut home. I got lost and had to ask a stranger for directions. They pointed to the street sign above me that literally had my street's name on it. FML
Today, I went to a library to return a book that I've had for years. After a heated discussion with the librarian, not only did she charge me over a hundred dollars for the book, she also called the cops to escort me out. FML
Today, I was getting catcalled downtown by a guy I've never seen before. Then he told me he knows where I live, and accurately described my apartment while he followed me for 2 blocks. FML
Today, my crazy neighbor came up to me in the street and slapped me across the face, accusing me of leering through her restroom window while she showered. I'm gay. FML
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Top comments
jenjen2633 17
It's always the innocent looking ones...
TheKingKen 22
It always makes me sad when a person's entertainment is at the expense of someone else. It happens all the time
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Comments (111)
jenjen2633 17
Maybe she thought you were a book nerd and needed some fun
buckdharma 38
Did you still take out an oversize Atlas?
DewTutorials 6
That woman is a troll... XD
AnneMoresk 10
She sounds like a fun person to hang out with!
countryrose92 23
...if you have the ability to post to FML while standing in front of a gay strip joint, wouldn't you have had the ability to use that same data to look up directions to where you were trying to go?
False_Stupidity 42
Good point! The only thing I can think of was that they didn't post from in front of the club, (I know it's worded that way) but eventually found the library and used a PC.
stargirl_95 24
We don't know that he posted the FML while he was standing in front of the strip joint. He could have posted it when he got home. This incident could also have happened weeks ago and he's just posting about it now. It's a rule that all FMLs must start with "Today" but that doesn't mean the OP posted them today. He may not have had access to data at the time or maybe the thought just didn't cross his mind
feven 32
OP also used the word "now" #58
vividpictures 17
She sounds like she would be a hell of a good time.
n3ophyt3 10
One word - GPS
worldclassrager 41
Three words one symbol give the way to go
worldclassrager 41
Smart phones have maps...that will help until you know where things are a phone book would work as well
Hhello10984 9
you should have went into a store and asked a worker for directions!
MrDrumSlayer 5
She probably wasn't a real Canadian eh!