Today, while wandering around the big city I just relocated to, I asked a seemingly pleasant-looking lady where the nearest library was. She told me to get lost, and started laughing. Then said she was just joking and gave me directions. I'm now standing in front of a gay strip joint. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the library to bring back some books, I walked up to the counter and the librarian turned to me and said "What can I do for you young man?" I'm a girl. FML
Today, at a bar, a woman approched me and tried to set me up with her friend. Looking around, the only people in the bar were a man reading the paper and a very ugly woman, looking at me and smiling. I worriedly replied, "I'm sorry, but I'm gay." Turns out her friend was the one reading the paper. FML
Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML
Today, I saw an elderly woman struggling to reach the top shelf in my local grocery store, so I went over and asked if she needed help. She then accused me of flirting with her and had me escorted from the property. FML
Today, I was working at my desk when a colleague came over to my desk and said, “You loiter in gay bars”. I started having a panic attack because I thought he'd found out and would out me to my wife. Only when he began cracking up laughing did I realise it was a "joke." FML
Today, my friend wasn't responding to my whispers in the library, so I walked over and very slightly moved his chair. At that exact moment, the librarian walked in. Regardless of our efforts to tell her anything, she got us banned from the library. FML
Today, I tried to take a shortcut home. I got lost and had to ask a stranger for directions. They pointed to the street sign above me that literally had my street's name on it. FML
Today, I went to a library to return a book that I've had for years. After a heated discussion with the librarian, not only did she charge me over a hundred dollars for the book, she also called the cops to escort me out. FML
Today, I was getting catcalled downtown by a guy I've never seen before. Then he told me he knows where I live, and accurately described my apartment while he followed me for 2 blocks. FML
Today, my crazy neighbor came up to me in the street and slapped me across the face, accusing me of leering through her restroom window while she showered. I'm gay. FML
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Top comments
jenjen2633 17
It's always the innocent looking ones...
TheKingKen 22
It always makes me sad when a person's entertainment is at the expense of someone else. It happens all the time
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Comments (111)
Echosnow 15
Expect the unexpected
elizacandle 29
that sounds more fun than the library!
oscar5542369 2
You oviously have a smart phone if you were able to post this so couldent you have used it to get directions on maps .. Genius
redstone7693 29
Well, welcome to Toronto!
kingoftheawkward 5
You've got a smartphone.
grunt_fml 17
The last person that did something like this to me, sending me completely astray for hours, ended up in the emergency room where I was working as a nurse, only a couple of days later. Boy, there was a lot of laughter! Especially after me saying to him "Hey, you are the genius who send me astray the other day! Thank you so much, I was wandering in the rain for hours! And now let me draw some blood..." To those being concerned about my patients healts or safety, no, in the end I did not hurt him. I was actually pissed about him and I felt that I could not treat him properly, so I asked a coworker to step in for me.
Lunasis 14
well shit what are you talking to us for? go enjoy the show!
kittyofdeath 10
Das why you never go to a big city
FAH_Q_2 3
That's some cold shit right there.
dorquesaurus 3
I love this woman!