Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while sitting with my son, an ice cream cone landed on my head from out of nowhere. I look up to see three children on the balcony above us yelling, "Look! We hit the fat lady!" They ran away laughing. FML
Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend. Suddenly he starts speaking gibberish. I ask what's wrong? He says, "I was just talking to my unicorn. He says you're pretty," and winks at me. What have we learned today? The person I like is a freak, and apparently unicorns are real. FML
Today, while at the park, my 3 year-old ran up to a lady, grabbed her chest and loudly asked, "Are these your breasts? Are they private on you too?" FML
Today, while walking through the park, a little boy came running up to me and hit me in the nuts with a stick. I fell on the ground and looked up just in time to see his mom giving him the thumbs up with a smile on her face. FML
Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran up behind me and dumped a carton of milk on my head. She said, "The cow master baptizes you!" and then ran in the opposite direction, cackling madly. FML
Today, a little girl looked at me and yelled "Mommy look, there's a real leprechaun!" FML
Today, I was sitting in a park with a friend when a small child approached us. Just as I moved off the bridge to let the kid play, he asked if I'd like to play as the troll under the bridge. I laughed and said, "No thanks!" to which the kid responded, "But there's nobody else ugly enough." FML
Today, my son asked for candy at a supermarket checkout. I said no. He laid on the floor and began screaming as if I'd killed his pet rabbit. Other parents nodded at me in silent sympathy, while strangers judged me with their glares. I bought the candy. He still screamed. FML
Today, a kid looked at me, screamed, then ran away yelling "Chewbacca!" FML
Today, a little girl came up to me and asked, "Are you a boy or a girl?" I said, "I'm a girl of course!" She walked away, looking dazed and saying, "Whoa." FML
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Top comments
thrAsHeRr9081 16
SHUN THE NONBELIEVER! SHUUUNNN.
missyj0 12
You must believe in the unicorns! Or else you shall feel their wrath.
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Comments (212)
dancerNsinger4li 0
Noooo really? I didnt get that from reading the FML...smh it is called common sense moron
lovinit5683 0
That kid is crazy. Wasting his ice-cream like that.
deXter11_fml 0
I bet you believe now, huh? That's what you get. Btw...you have some ice cream on your forehead.
painkiller3666 4
Every time you don't believe in unicorns some kid gets molested.
ZaraMarieSwag 0
THEY ARE REAL.
perdix 31
Did that make you horny?
jwshrieky 0
Baaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahaha! Hilarious! YDI. The unicorns have smited you.
bubo_fml 11
Next time, ask him if he believes in "alien anal probing"...I'll leave it up to you to figure out what to do with the ice cream cone!
Smoofy_Bliss 3
I believe. ; )
tigermilz 1
I would have died laughing