Today, while playing with a lighter, I jokingly told my boyfriend I would burn his mustache off. He responded by telling me he would burn off mine. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while lighting a cigar, I set my beard on fire. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I don't like his facial hair and that he should shave it off. He replied, "You first." FML
Today, I yelled at my boyfriend for smoking in the house, because I didn't want the house to smell like smoke. While doing so, I knocked over a candle and lit the couch on fire. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied by telling me to fuck off. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML
Today, I got dumped by my boyfriend over text. We wore each others' hats, so I gave his back and asked for mine. He “accidentally” burned it. FML
Today, I waxed my upper lip hair. My boyfriend later told me that he missed my mustache rubbing onto his. FML
Today, I got punched in the face after a stranger asked for a light, didn't realize it was a butane lighter and burnt the tip of his nose lighting his cigarette. Now my nose looks worse than his. FML
Today, my roommate thought it was a good idea to set my beard on fire to wake me up. FML
Today, we were celebrating my birthday and my boyfriend thought it would be funny to shove my face in the cake. While the candles were still lit. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Dodie__fml 2
You just got burned
Skulll 13
Don't play with lighters!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (156)
rawrcookiemonste 5
wax that thong off than girl !
rawrcookiemonste 5
awks.. i meant *thing
AnonTheGreat 7
He was probably talking about the mustache in your pants.
superstar429 7
wow what a comment you're a nasty you disgust me
superstar429 7
wow what a comment you're a nasty you disgust me
IntoTheClouds 42
If you can't take the heat, stay out of the kitchen. Counterintuitive? Perhaps . . .
majorfacepalm 3
2 things--- 1, dont play with fire and 2, thats what you get for THREATENING someone!!!
thiscrazything 1
Lol I can feel the burn from here
hebron77 0
That sounds like something I would say, not to my girlfriend though.
miZscrZee 0
Wax that sh!t b!tch!
KiddNYC1O 22
What the f!ck d!de!
queenb1621 21
lol that sucks
erockinthesuburb 17
No man wants to kiss wookie-face.
superstar429 7
wow this is a fml thats priceless i love it so much!!!!!