Today, while on a first date, I had to excuse myself to the restroom. I was still tired from pulling an all-nighter, and fell asleep on the toilet. When I woke up and rushed back out, my date was gone. Everyone now thinks I'm an arsehole who pulled the old "window escape" trick on her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a date. After we finished our meal, I had to use the bathroom really bad. When I said so, my date totally lost it and accused me of planning on climbing out a window and ditching her. "Fuck that and fuck you!" she said, then stormed out, leaving me with the bill. FML
Today, at the movies on a date, I drank all my soda and waited too long. I couldn't take it anymore and quickly got up, knocking my date's popcorn on the floor, and ran to the bathroom. I didn’t make it and went home in shame. It’s better he thinks I stood him up. FML
Today, I went on a date with someone I'd met online. Everything was going surprisingly well, until I knocked over my drink, spilling it all over my date's lap. In a panic, I blurted out, "Dude, did you piss yourself?" Needless to say, there will be no second date. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy. I lost interest in him quick, so I excused myself to go to the bathroom, hoping to make a run for the hills. As soon as I reached the front door, our server yells out, "I hope you’re not thinking about dining and dashing!" FML
Today, I had my first date in almost four years. Twenty minutes into our dinner date, I excused myself to use the ladies room. When I came back, not only was he gone, but there was also a security guard waiting to walk me out. I still have no clue why he left or why I got kicked out. FML
Today, I accidentally stood up my first date ever. How? I spent all of last night cleaning my parents' house for extra spending money to make sure the date went perfect, but I ended up sleeping through the alarm as well. FML
Today, I fell asleep for an hour in the bathroom while taking a dump. I had to convince everyone I went for a walk during lunch since no one saw my car leave. FML
Today, while on a first date with a charming guy, I excused myself to the bathroom. I tried to bring my purse along, since my pads were in there, and mother nature was calling. He vehemently insisted that I leave my purse, in case I was planning on stiffing him on the bill. FML
Today, my date from the night before let me stay behind when he had left for work. While relaxing, I figured I'd be fine to let a little fart out. Unbeknownst to me, not eating enough food over the past few days turned the contents of my bowels to liquid. I sharted on their bed. FML
Today, I went on a blind date set up by a friend. Everything was going great until I accidentally called my date by my ex’s name. Twice. My date promptly excused herself to the restroom and never came back. FML
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Top comments
Liyuesigs 8
Everyone who is irrelevant except her. Go chase after her and offer to pay her back. You might still get a second date.
XxXBadAshXxX 27
Aw man! Sad day. I'm sure you can explain what happened and she'll forgive you.
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Comments (87)
Al3xv3l92 24
Explain to her what happened she.will understand and forgive you.
MrHernandez530 10
Reminds me of the big bang theory kinda raj on his date with the girl with more problems then raj she jumps out the bathroom window to escape
DanielleinDC 34
Did you tell the woman with whom you were on a date that you had pulled an all-nighter, so you were tired? If not, YDI. It would have been simple to tell her that rather than have her (and everyone else) think you ditched her.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
I can't fathom how you could fall asleep on a toilet. It's hardly comfortable, and your pants are down, not to mention the lights are on and God knows what it smelled like. It sucks though, but hopefully you could explain it to your date.
TitaniumTade 14
Awwww... Sorry to hear that. I hate it when I fall asleep on the toilet.
Pufff 6
Hahaha! That's fricken hilarious
TotallyNotMasonR 3
I love how Irish people say arsehole!
Anonymous_Writer 6
Awe... try to talk and explain it to her. Honesty. Good luck.
Insanemf18 12
Next time don't pull an all mightier dip shit