Today, while meeting a new client, their assistant said I looked familiar. Before my brain could stop me, I blurted out, "I do porn." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a client stared at me in disbelief after I mentioned that I had a boyfriend. FML
Today, my sister ran into my room unannounced while I was on webcam with a potential employer. Before I could react, she looked at my screen, said "Damn, he's fucking hot." and flashed him. FML
Today, I introduced myself as a sex addict, as a joke, to break the ice while meeting new people. One of my friends took me seriously and said he was a porn addict. He told me how happy he was that he had found someone else who had the same feelings and was so happy he could confide in me. FML
Today, at dinner, I was talking to my parents about a movie quote. I couldn't remember what movie it was from. Then I remembered. It was a porno. FML
Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML
Today, I got really excited at work over a deal I was about to close. I got up and started performing a rather obscene hip thrust only to notice a client sitting in the glass meeting room. FML
Today, I was on the phone with a client, when the gum I was casually chewing fell out of my mouth and down my shirt. While I was trying to dig it out, two of our newest customers walked into the lobby to see what looked like me fondling my breasts. FML
Today, as an important meeting with clients was drawing to a close, we all stood up and they bid their farewells. My response was to blurt out, "Hello!" FML
Today, I was at the doctor's office and the doctor asked me, "Have you been having any intimate relations?" and the first thing that I blurted out was, "You mean with other people?" FML
Today, I met my celebrity crush in an official capacity, I was completely tongue tied and when I stood to shake her hand, I tripped and fell with my face in her cleavage. She thought it was funny, but I was mortified and my boss suspended me until security footage proves I didn’t do it on purpose. FML
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Top comments
lilycups 11
Do you actually do **** or was that an instinctual joke?
MDoremis 38
That escalated quickly.
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Comments (38)
neuronerd 29
My ex used to say that when people said he looked familiar. I thought it was a joke, until he showed me his work.
OtakuTaco 15
Well, do you?
RA91 26
LMFAOOOOO!!!! This NEEDS a follow up!!!!
RuneRifle 22
The biggest question is: Do you actually do ****?
wellsheet 4
Ok, I'm the OP. I didn't expect this to actually go anywhere. I made an account after the fact so I could give you guys a little background info. I'm in college and I work part-time for a local law firm. I'm a very sarcastic person, in general, which I try to dial down for work. The "I do ****" thing was just the first, most sarcastic thing that came to mind. I totally forgot my audience and just blurted it out. The client, thankfully, has a great sense of humor, and thought it was hilarious. And no, I don't actually do ****.
Colon_Man 17
Law firm. You're screwing people in public. It counts.
pleasedie 22
Five bucks he googled you later just in case
WinterChild 20
Sooo did you land the deal?
rfish14 2
Guess it's not just foot that's in your mouth
Rammer3500 23
Well do you?
MdMan3 17
No, read her follow up.
BiaBauer 29
That's hilarious. :D
vincent6864 18
are they still a client?
JETarchitect 32
read her follow up, she is #18