Today, trying to be friendly, I said good morning to the creepy guy at work. He responded by wordlessly hugging me. I was touched, until I realized he was trying to unhook my bra. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to work and said hi to my boss. He reached towards me. I thought he was trying to give me a hug, so I awkwardly hugged him back. Turned out he was just trying to fix my shirt collar. FML
Today, I was talking to the girl I really like, and she was telling me how crappy her day was. Trying to be nice, I gave her a back rub. I somehow managed to unhook her bra. FML
Today, while at work, a creepy guy blatantly stared at my chest for a good 40 seconds. Finally snapping out of his trance, he said with a wink, "You forgot your name tag." He was right. FML
Today, out of habit, I said "See you later" to a creepy old male customer who stared at my chest the whole time I was serving him. His response was to wink and say, "Oh, you will." FML
Today, I went into to shake a big wig's hand at work, and he went in for a hug. I couldn't pull my hand away fast enough, so I cupped his entire titty for at least 10 seconds. FML
Today, trying to be romantic, I started giving my boyfriend a neck massage. He gave me a weirded-out look, removed my hand, called me creep, and wouldn't let me touch him for the rest of the day. FML
Today, at work at a car dealership, a seemingly overzealous customer shook my hand vigorously after we finalized a deal. I didn't think anything of it until a coworker pointed out that he was just trying to make my breasts jiggle. I'm a man. FML
Today, I went in to hug my boss after a big project presentation, all because I misread his body language and thought he was opening his arms to me, but he was actually reaching for his jacket. I basically hugged his sleeve while he stared at me like I’d lost my mind. FML
Today, I was walking down the strip with a friend when we saw a homeless man with no arm. I felt bad, so I gave him some cash and I looked into his poor little eyes when he put out his arm for a hug. Without thinking, I hugged him. Right as I was thinking, "WTF am I doing?" he kissed my boob. FML
Today, I was at a job interview and thought the guy interviewing me was a bit of a perv because he kept staring down at my cleavage. Afterwards, I realised what he was really looking at: the wire in my bra had popped out and had been poking right through my shirt like a dagger. FML
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Top comments
stevenJB 25
Maybe you should've figured out WHY he was the creepy guy at work. XD
perdix 31
In Google Translate from English to Creepy Guy, "Good Morning" means "We're married, take me!"
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Comments (125)
stevenJB 25
Maybe you should've figured out WHY he was the creepy guy at work. XD
crazytwinsmom 25
She did, then.
WrongRomance 11
You can never be friendly to creepy people. They don't forget that you were, and they expect it every time.
Zimmington 21
68- Why is it his fault? She was obviously coming on to him with her sly flirty "niceness"
SharnaaaBanana 22
Well, I mean, I guess it's still something you can be fluttered about? ^_^
SharnaaaBanana 22
Flattered** oops!
ironichalibut 24
Fluttered still works! "That butterfly in your stomach feeling.". But a creepy butterfly, maybe with fangs.
iLuvsIt 10
Why would anyone feel flattered by that?
Alicestraza 33
Yeah I don't think she's flattered by a creepy guy trying to unhook her bra. It's really not a compliment.
spekledworf 18
Sexual harassment is very flattering!
SharnaaaBanana 22
Ikr^ Sorry my comment was a bit stupid haha.
heathz 9
thats what you get for saying "hi" to the creepy guy at work. lesson learned.
chuckcloninger 12
Oh boy. Duck lips and fingers extended. What more could a guy ask for?
Jiplo 18
Don't forget the mirror picture even though the phone has 2 cameras
Kaatosade 9
105- clearly the duck face is at the top of the "attractive moves" list. A guy can't ask for much more than that!
heathz 9
so u hate my duck lips?
GuinnessGirrrl 8
Make sure creepy guy doesn't follow you home after work. Just in case, adopt a German Shepherd ASAP!
daizttgg 9
I feel like you're advertising considering you have a German Shepherd in your profile pic
Porcei 18
Why a German Shepherd? Why not a Chihuahua? They're pretty helpful too.
GuinnessGirrrl 8
Advertising what?! I'm a German Shepherd & I believe in protecting people.
Voij 16
I must strongly discourage the employment of a wolf-related canine species in this case. This is obviously not for personal reasons, as there is nothing that could indicate that I have a problem with these stinky annoying loud cathunting... with dogs, but rather because I consider a dog to not be an appropriate response to this situation. Instead I suggest doing it like the Egyptians by praying to and worshipping cats, so that their divine glory can lend you protection.
ironichalibut 24
Dogs are alright, but cats are where it's ats. Dogs like German Shepards, any big dog really, are just as likely to hurt you as any attacker, if you don't have the right bond with them. They can also attack for reasons we don't understand. Cats do the same thing, but they max out at about 25-30lbs.( Of fat mostly). Cats and small dogs alike still have abilities like pest control and acting as a living alarm, cats especially elongate your lifespan depending on a few factors. Anyway, if I have a pet and put so much love into them, I don't want them to be able to kill me when they're in a mood, so cats rule.
hannaaaahr 33
52 - I'm pretty sure that cats kill their owners all the time, they're just smart enough to never get caught, so that's why you never hear about it. Cats are evil serial killers. I love my cat, but I'm pretty damn sure that he's plotting to kill me.
chuka81 27
And suddenly we're talking about cats instead of the creepy guy?
Voij 16
59, rule of the Internet: Every discussion inevitably drifts towards cats.
pmadNess 16
69- A most unfortunate rule...
M3DIC4T3 29
Well maybe the creepy guy has a pet cat. Or he might have 12, because you can never have too much of a good thing, right?
jem970 19
I love my cats but this is taking it to far... I have a large dog who wouldn't hurt a fly so generalizing all big dogs is just mean. P.S. if that was sarcasm on comments 42 and 52 sorry I missed it.
botanistjessica 24
I must inquire as to why you believe German Shepherds are more "wolf related" than any other dog breed?
wldd0g 9
All dogs are wolf related. But. German Shepard is just an awesome dog that puts its own life before its packs. (Your family). Cats... Well... There is a reason you never see signs saying beware of house cat.
Voij 16
Exactly... because the cats stole all of those signs. Evil little critters. They're hellbent on world domination, I tell you! BE AFRAID!
braga_fangirl98 13
#23 are you really a german shepherd?
Pandacupcakelove 26
At least you probably made his day!
iLuvsIt 10
A good deed - letting the creepy guy at work touch you inappropriately? Nope.
Pandacupcakelove 26
A good deed -saying good morning to a lonely person? I think so.
ironichalibut 24
6- And his night. Oh!
SMHsohard 22
How do you know he's lonely? Sometimes creepy people are just...creepy for no apparent reason.
crazytwinsmom 25
He's probably lonely because he's creepy.
JamieLT 22
Wow... Creeper much?
Zack6849 8
You mean to say the "creepy" guy at OP's office is actually CREEPY? *gasp*
Pstraka6 20
That's when you need to touch him, by touch I mean slap!
HeyHeyFishFillet 34
Trying to unhook your bra with your shirt on AND during a hug? That man has BALLS. But nonetheless, FYL for having to work with such a creep =(.
1crabbygirl 10
No one has to work with him anymore! Report that crap.
spazz666 18
Lol, it's very possibly. I learned not to hug a specific friend after I realized every time I hugged him I ended up with an I clipped bra... Although, he was joking around in a friendly manner, nothing as remotely creepy as this dude. Maybe OP should have talked to some co-workers about WHY he is the creepy guy before deciding it'd be a good idea to be nice to him. Sometimes it's just not safe to be a good person.
daizttgg 9
Creepy people are creepy. Therefore you do not let creepy people touch you. Because they do creepy things.
crudeandrudeguy 29
Logical
GuinnessGirrrl 8
Sounds like you might have experience with creepy creepers
daizttgg 9
The horror. O_O yes... I do. One guy. Joshua. Corner. Running. Than he goes "okay it's rape time, I'm gonna grab your boobs." And I go into defense curl
daizttgg 9
I'm not joking...... :|
perdix 31
In Google Translate from English to Creepy Guy, "Good Morning" means "We're married, take me!"
ironichalibut 24
You don't even want to KNOW what the many translations for "Hello" can mean.
nnnope 26
one does not simply question Perdix
nnnope 26
ugh I keep mis-reading peoples' comments...this is what I get for being on FML at 6 am instead of sleeping -__-