Today, while in line at the supermarket, I told the lady behind me that she had a cute baby. She shot me a disgusted look and straight up accused me of being a pedophile. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
External validation
Today, I was grocery shopping, feeling good about myself, until when I was waiting in line at the checkout, a small kid in his mother's arms in front turned to look straight at me and said, "Ewwwww." FML
Today, I waved at a baby while standing in line in a store. It started screaming. Its mom looked over in mild concern and gave me a disturbed glare before moving to the next checkout counter over. FML
You tried
Today, while shopping, I saw a little girl and her mom. The girl was pouting so I tried to cheer her up by asking her if she was a princess, because she was so pretty. She smiled but her mom looked at me with disgust and told me to, "Get lost, pedo." I'm a 17-year-old girl. FML
Today, while at the grocery store an elderly woman farted very loudly next to me. Everyone in the aisle looked our way. The woman pointed at me, and left the aisle. I received many disgusted looks from children and their parents. FML
Parent #1 of the Year
Today, I got bitched out by some lady in a Walmart because I looked at her funny while she was on the phone, loudly bragging about "slapping the shit out of" her kids. FML
Sketchy-looking dude
Today, I overheard a lady tell her child in a store that, “If you don’t stop crying, I’ll tell that guy over there to take you away.” She was referring to me. FML
Today, while I was out shopping, a fairly hideous-looking woman stormed up to me and accused me of ogling her, saying, "As if I'd ever date you!" Less than a minute later, she'd somehow managed to bully me into falsely admitting to it and apologizing. FML
Today, I saw an elderly woman struggling to reach the top shelf in my local grocery store, so I went over and asked if she needed help. She then accused me of flirting with her and had me escorted from the property. FML
Staircase wit at the checkout
Today, while in line at the grocery store, I was going over the witty but caustic things I wish I'd said in an argument earlier. Turns out, I was saying them out loud. The cashier gave me a weird look and said, “Are you okay, ma'am?” FML
Today, I was at the grocery store, when a little boy looked up at me and asked if I was a prostitute. FML
Top comments
edraptor 11
I hate people
Jowisee 29
You just can't win with some people.
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Comments (90)
Aalejandro77 12
Should have just turned around and been like "lets hope the baby doesn't inherited your horrible personally"
exoticwaved 9
Don't let her rain on your parade. The world needs more overly positive people like you.
orsombre_fml 11
I don't understand her logic. If you were a pedophile, you won't say anything out of fear of being noticed. I am sorry what what happened, OP. Please don't change your attitude because of a misguided mother.
TheNewGuy03 29
People are judgmental as ****. Don't sweat it -- she's just a toolbag. I know there are a lot of sick individuals out there, and it's good to be wary, but there is NO excuse for a response like that.
FallenMetalAngel 17
I often smile at kids in stores and such because I work with kids on a daily basis and think they are adorable. I get the exact same look sometimes from parents until I explain.
arcanesentry 14
Yup, sounds like the United States I know and love.
Jirekianu2 19
Welcome to contemporary society where almost anything a man does is seen as predatory. I'm sorry, OP.
JustinJK 21
@25, I found a lost kid in the mall crying. NOBODY was helping him so I did. I actually got him to settle down and took him to the mall management/security office. I was then promptly accused by the parents that as a "queer" I was up to no good with their son.
romegatekeeper 8
Some people should not have children ....! Period ?
shinikageWolf 15
I said cute baby, not 'I want to **** your child' calm the **** down.