Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in a meeting when I felt a sneeze coming on. I tried to hold it in to avoid making a noise. Instead, I ended up sneeze-imploding so hard that I accidentally farted at the same time. The entire room went silent. FML
Today, while in class, I desperately had to fart. Someone in the room had a coughing fit, so I took that as the chance to let it out. When I was about to release, the coughing stopped. I couldn't stop in time. FML
Today, while waiting for class, I let out a huge fart in front of everyone thinking no one would hear it over the music. I was wearing headphones. FML
Today, I was giving a presentation in front of my class. Mid-speech, I felt a sudden urge to sneeze and tried to hold it in. Instead, I let out the most obnoxious, window-rattling sneeze imaginable, complete with a spray of snot, which landed on my notes. I think I traumatized my classmates for life. FML
Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML
Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML
Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of class. Thinking I got away with it, I just kept doing my work until some kid across the room says, "I could have done better." FML
Today, I was in a quiet library, trying to stifle a sneeze. In the process, I let out an embarrassingly loud and dramatic snort that echoed through the room. Heads turned. Many stared. FML
Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and some new clients when I sensed that I was about to sneeze. I tried to hold it in, but ended up sneezing AND farting. FML
Today, despite having a mild case of the flu, I visited my boyfriend's house and watched a movie with his parents. During the movie, I felt the sudden urge to sneeze. Trying to hold it in, I managed to do the loudest fart I've ever done in my life. Everyone heard. FML
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Top comments
TheNewMirage 10
Just smile 'n wave boy, smile 'n wave.
adamo_erebus 26
Stand tall with pride, that must've been one hell of a fart
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Comments (103)
JaegerMayCry 13
They're just jealous of your superior gas excretion skills. Fart with pride OP
ethanman82 8
I guess the only thing to do was (puts on sun glasses) put thats "sneeze" behind you. YEAAAAAHHHH!
ninjuh_wingman 29
No. Just....no
NeighSoulSister 6
I thought we were done with this joke already. Guess not.
astralvagan 20
better out than in though.....
worldclassrager 41
A sneeze is excusable...always hey maybe from the bless you a blessing might come your way...
jw90 18
Hey if it can't come out one way it'll go out another.
TheCerealKiller 24
At least you didn't sneeze and fart at the same time. Or sneeze and crap yourself.
martin8337 36
Or sneeze and snot yourself.
Trish01 23
And then they all burst out laughing, right? If not, what kind of creepy school do you go to?
gracehi 33
Did you know in that in ancient Rome it was illegal to fart in public? Consider yourself lucky for the time and placeb in which you now live. If you were less fortunate, you would have gotten a nice new set of iron bracelets to go along with those intent stares.
sanecatlady 13
I remember once in junior high a boy in my class sneezed and this huge, black booger or something shot out of his nose and onto the floor. We were all pretty grossed out, including the teacher, although other kids were laughing, too. It landed pretty close so I wonder if he tried to aim it at me?
TheDrifter 24
Possibly because sneezes don't stink?