Today, while I was waiting at a bus stop, a man stopped at the red light and smiled at me. I smiled back. He blew me a kiss and drove away, just as I realized he was masturbating behind the wheel. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while driving, I saw a car pull over with its hazard lights on. I went to see if they needed help, only to see the guy was jerking off to something on his phone. FML
Today, while on the way to Florida for spring break, I pointed out to my mom a bright blue car in the rear-view mirror. As the car overtook us, we both got a horrifyingly detailed view of the driver jerking off her passenger. FML
Today, while driving, I idly started picking my nose. I looked over at the car next to me and saw a smoking hot guy from my school staring at me in disgust. He kept staring until I took a turn-off. FML
Today, I got a new pair of glasses, and was driving home. While waiting at a stop sign, I noticed a homeless guy touching himself. He saw me, smiled and waved, and then continued. So much for my new eyesight. FML
Today, after leaving a store I got stuck at a red light. A car pulled up next to me and there was a half retarded man jerking his junk at me. Nasty image burned into my corneas forever. FML
Today, I was eating lunch in my car. There was a cute guy, also in his car, who kept smiling at me and winking with a cheeky grin. I considered giving him my number but his girlfriend suddenly sat up from having her head in his lap, wiping her mouth. He was getting a blowjob the entire time. FML
Today, while driving I saw a police car riding along next to me. Thinking about the news recently, I decided to give him a quick thumbs up and a smile to lighten up his day. He looks back, smiles, flips on his siren, and pulls me over for not paying attention to the road. FML
Today, as I stopped at a traffic light, I noticed the man in the car next to me break out in laughter. I pulled over later on to see that someone had drawn a large penis on the side of my van. I then spent all my morning cleaning it off. I went outside later only to see someone had redrawn it. FML
Today, I'd been sat in traffic for about an hour. I've heard stories about people doing the dirty in their cars, and I never do anything risky so I thought, why not, I'll be here a while, no one can see me: I'll masturbate. Midway through, I heard a tap on my driver's window. It was a police officer. FML
Today, I was waiting at a traffic light next to an ice cream van. The man in it turned to me and winked, making sexual hand gestures. I felt my childhood die horribly as I watched. FML
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Top comments
silversparkles4 5
Take it as a compliment, you are pretty enough to ********** to.
jmac317 0
thats hot
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Comments (96)
xundria 5
Yes, but purposely replacing the g with a q? I've seen multiple people do this. It's saddening.
xxvlad 1
lol
prettyinpink93 0
it's illegal to text and drive and talk on your cell and drie wouldnt jacking off be more distracting lol
Claraisawesome 3
Gawd, some people ar nasty O.o
slynoble32 11
lmfao u must be some kind of rediculous sexy
tristanklose 0
ridiculous *
sh33na_is_a_punk 0
shatup its not a big deel. the next time you make a spelling error someone's qunna pounce on you!
jameisme 0
that's amazing ^.^ I wish I had the capability to do that!!
xundria 5
It's not that big of a deal? When you continuously make these mistakes on purpose, it becomes habit. A lot of people have "accidentally" typed things like this on their resume for a big job and did not get it because of that. The use of text speak and shorthands will get you no where. For example, the use of the letter "u" instead of spelling out you. I should time how much longer it takes me to type the two extra letters. I won't though, but I will tell you this... it's less than a second to type the word correctly. You should think of this, typing correctly to the best of your knowledge and then accepting help when it's offered to you, not only makes you more intelligent in the end, but makes you look more intelligent.
eddieyes 0
blah blah blah
eddieyes 0
blah blah blah