Today, while I was waiting at a bus stop, a man stopped at the red light and smiled at me. I smiled back. He blew me a kiss and drove away, just as I realized he was masturbating behind the wheel. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while driving, I saw a car pull over with its hazard lights on. I went to see if they needed help, only to see the guy was jerking off to something on his phone. FML
Today, while on the way to Florida for spring break, I pointed out to my mom a bright blue car in the rear-view mirror. As the car overtook us, we both got a horrifyingly detailed view of the driver jerking off her passenger. FML
Today, while driving, I idly started picking my nose. I looked over at the car next to me and saw a smoking hot guy from my school staring at me in disgust. He kept staring until I took a turn-off. FML
Today, I got a new pair of glasses, and was driving home. While waiting at a stop sign, I noticed a homeless guy touching himself. He saw me, smiled and waved, and then continued. So much for my new eyesight. FML
Today, after leaving a store I got stuck at a red light. A car pulled up next to me and there was a half retarded man jerking his junk at me. Nasty image burned into my corneas forever. FML
Today, I was eating lunch in my car. There was a cute guy, also in his car, who kept smiling at me and winking with a cheeky grin. I considered giving him my number but his girlfriend suddenly sat up from having her head in his lap, wiping her mouth. He was getting a blowjob the entire time. FML
Today, while driving I saw a police car riding along next to me. Thinking about the news recently, I decided to give him a quick thumbs up and a smile to lighten up his day. He looks back, smiles, flips on his siren, and pulls me over for not paying attention to the road. FML
Today, as I stopped at a traffic light, I noticed the man in the car next to me break out in laughter. I pulled over later on to see that someone had drawn a large penis on the side of my van. I then spent all my morning cleaning it off. I went outside later only to see someone had redrawn it. FML
Today, I'd been sat in traffic for about an hour. I've heard stories about people doing the dirty in their cars, and I never do anything risky so I thought, why not, I'll be here a while, no one can see me: I'll masturbate. Midway through, I heard a tap on my driver's window. It was a police officer. FML
Today, I was waiting at a traffic light next to an ice cream van. The man in it turned to me and winked, making sexual hand gestures. I felt my childhood die horribly as I watched. FML
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Top comments
silversparkles4 5
Take it as a compliment, you are pretty enough to ********** to.
jmac317 0
thats hot
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Comments (96)
Bill3485 3
sounds like a really sticky situation to be in.
MrBond007_fml 6
reall?, I was wondering about that.... are sure? that sounds crazy, what if you are "almost there" and you get pulled over or something?
Ozmat 0
67 - it's actually 'nowhere', no space. gg pal
DaTurdTickler 0
well if your almost there you can shoot it in the cops eye when he walks up to your window...then floor it
Teenaaluv 0
lol hell ya!
Teenaaluv 0
ur a dick n i lot of ppl kno how to switch berween txt n short hand to proper i am very good at this. i can be texting someone and writing a paper at the same time. so if ya wanna b a dick do it somewhere else o n some ppl just cant spell get ovr it asshole!
79DrAwkwArD97 0
Honestly, does that really bother you? I mean, is it creepy to actually go out and jerk it in public? Yeah... but the only person who should be embarrassed about it is the wanker...
Blondefreckles13 0
I like it doggy style ;)
klago06 0
You probably should have thought outside the box. haha.
rocket123 0
lmfao