Today, I switched cell phone carriers and got the plan where you can call or text any five people for free. The employee asked for my five, I could only come up with one, my mom. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I received my new cell phone and activated my account. As part of the package, I get to choose five numbers that I can call without using any minutes. I could still only think of three numbers I call regularly: my parent's house, my mom's cell and my ex's cell. FML
Today, my dad let me use his phone. Five minutes later, he had my mom call it because he thought he'd lost it. FML
Today, my phone rang for the first time in four days. It was my mom. She dialed the wrong number. FML
Today, my mom learned how to use the text messaging on her smartphone. I've received 37 already, and she calls after every single one to make sure I understood her. FML
Today, I needed to call my mom to get some info so I dialled the number on my work phone. Not 2 seconds after, my cellphone rang. I got super pissed off because I hate when people call me on my cell at work. It was me. I'd dialled my own number. FML
Today, I called my friend in Australia to have a nice long chat, what I did not know was that my dad had removed my international calling plan, I talked to my friend for 5 hours, and ran up a huge phone bill, which I have to take out of the money I saved up to go see her. FML
Today, I sent my mom a text to tell her about my promotion at work. She responded with, "Who is this?" It turns out that she deleted my number, because I "never call." FML
Today, my mom was on the phone while we went grocery shopping. Apparently, her phone call was more important because she just left me stranded in the store. FML
Today, I was with my mom and my boyfriend at lunch. My phone rings and my mom excitedly says "You have friends!" As I'm about to answer it, she pulls out her phone from under the table and says "Kidding, it's just me." My boyfriend starts cracking up, and they exchange a high five. FML
Today, after applying at over 30 businesses over the past 6 months, I have had not one single call. I later find out that I was using my old phone number on the applications, and my secondary phone was my mom's. She thought they were telemarketers. FML
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Top comments
CharlotteRx 4
Mom, Pizza place, brother/sister,grandma,and dog. : )
martic835 2
Please, I go through times in my life where the only people I talk to are my parents. Friends are highly overrated. Luckily I'm at a point where I'm building friendships so I actually need a phone. FYL OP, FYL.
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Comments (125)
konny37 0
first.
ilovebradiew 0
nicee.
konny37 0
YDI fir picking that carrier. they suck.
Enoch134 0
your not first for long and y do u have to????
lilbyrd43 0
Why would they ask you? don't you do it yourself?
Bookhaki 0
Why does OP even have a phone then?
NOTaFmL 0
FYL for having no other friends. but don't u do it yourself??? correct me if i'm wrong.
trizzieb 0
Those 900 numbers you've been calling don't count?
cartermc17 0
fake fml because you do it yourself
Malinkrot 3
YDI for only having internet friends
Rawwrness 3
I've seen this one before. this is fake
hpotterluvr 0
agreed
Zoombus 0
I can't stand it when people ydi for retarded reasons. and no, it doesn't.
purple3883 0
what does YDI mean may i ask?
Hanban 0
Yellow Dancing Iguana.
Hendrixguy 0
Today, I tried convincing my Valentine-hating boyfriend to send me a card, by explaining how important it is to me. He finally agreed and sent me a card. I opened it up, and it wished me 'harmony and well-being on Lupercalia'. What is Lupercalia? It's an ancient Roman festival where men run down the street naked, whipping people with goat skins to encourage fertility. FML
Rimaa_fml 0
It stands for you dumb idiot. Lol jk. You deserve it!! (YDI)
jenlynn86 0
lol
xJaypex 0
this is stupid, it's from the office
deathcab7 0
haha thats sad,
CharlotteRx 4
Mom, Pizza place, brother/sister,grandma,and dog. : )
BigLostBear 0
that's just sad, lol those aren't really your pick 5 right?
CharlotteRx 4
No, it's actually the Chinese place's number. hahahahaha! naa, I don't like using my cellphone for long conversations, I rather speak in person : )
BigLostBear 0
I agree with that but I'm sadly a textaholic :(
Bugatti_Veyron 1
ydi for failing at life. your parents should have stomped on your head more when you were a baby.
iSitt 0
can you text your orders to the Chinese takeout ?
charcoalest 0
@40 I think that you are seriously the biggest jerk i've ever had the displeasure to encounter.
eeeeeeee 5
#40 made me laugh.
majones 0
I agree with 78. Are you a five year old 68?
Hanban 0
Crap. They moderated #40. What was the message?
martic835 2
Please, I go through times in my life where the only people I talk to are my parents. Friends are highly overrated. Luckily I'm at a point where I'm building friendships so I actually need a phone. FYL OP, FYL.
goodstuffboro 0
uhm did u rele say friends are overated....idk what I wuld do without mi friends....prolly die so I hope u get sum good ones soon cuz dey make de hole world better
YourGoinDown14 2
apparently we know what you didn't do with ur friends...you failed to learn how to type and spell! that was so uncomfortable to read lol.
MF12 0
snickerdoodles, where are you???!
XR6Falcon 0
sucks to be you.
hobrahtakeiteasy 0
make friends?
omfgItzme 0
lol agreed with number10 you should consider the idea of making some freinds:)
babybubz 0
maybe you should've thought that one through first..
maskedman 9
save some money and choose a plan made for loners.
z3r0nline 0
haha good one ;)
maskedman 9
thanks. I used to work for a long distance carrier so I know they regular plans, family plans, and lonely tv dinner eaters plans. the tv dinner plans are the cheapest.
ylfrettubsxc666 0
Dude. Get some friends
Enoch134 0
I love ur name
boatkicker 5
The 5 people you talk to on the phone the most, deserve to be the in the 5, regardless of who they are.
Jen_J_the_J 0
just give 4 other random numbers and make friends with who evers on the other end ^.^
BigLostBear 0
I love this idea... I'm going to try thiis at those points in my life where I loose my friends.
zZPedobearZz 0
good idea
bustyboi 0
make sure one of the numbers is 867-5309!
kayladance101 13
haha #70 i love that song... and OP that really stinks. dont you have any brothers or sisters??
icadragoon 11
Hey!! That's my number! (my name is Jennie)
Fminetoo 0
There used to be something intresting, like a recording on the other end if you dialed it with my local area code. I did it for ***** and giggles once. Dont know if its still up or not.