Today, while eating with my kids at McDonalds, my son put his hand up and wanted me to give him a "high five." I went to give him a five, but he moved his hand at the last second and I ended up slapping him in the face. Now everyone there thinks I'm a child-beater. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried to high-five someone but somehow ended up slapping them in the face. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML
Today, two days after losing my temper with my smart mouthed 7 year-old son and slapping him across the face, I tried to apologize by buying him a treat and telling him if anyone found out, I would get in trouble. Today, I got a call from social services about the "bruise" on his face. FML
Today, I went to go give my boss a high five for a job well done. I missed his hand and accidentally slapped his ass on the way down. FML
Today while at my job as a store clerk, I walked by a family. I smiled at their little boy, who responded by flipping me off. As I was walking away, I looked back in time to catch his dad give him a high-five. FML
Today, a waiter came up and and put out his hand so I gave him a high five and pounded it. He then says, "Um, that was a nice high five but I wanted your plate." FML
Today, I was working the register at a local grocery store. A kid about 5 years old was having trouble zipping his jacket. I reached out to help him and he started screaming "No bad touch bad touch!" and kicked me in the knee. Everyone looked. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my little brother. I saw him touching some expensive objects, so I slapped his arm. I noticed he wasn't my brother when he started crying and his real mom slapped me in the face. FML
Today, as usual, I worked at McDonald's. Although I tried to diffuse the situation, an old man was absolutely furious, and punched me in the face over BBQ sauce. FML
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
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Top comments
OmniFML 0
FALCON PUNCH!
Aelaena 6
You should have followed it up by saying 'chew with your mouth closed! what have i taught you?!'
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Comments (171)
IAmBridgette 0
POW RIGHT IN THE KISSER!
anon_73 0
Anyone who saw you feeding your kids McDonald's already knew you were a child abuser; the actual hitting is more metaphoric than anything.
motto_fml 0
never in this entire month have I laughed at some thing that couldn't be any more inappropriate. Thank you
shaPOW 0
If only there was a way you could alert any onlookers to the fact that it was an accident... like saying "Oh sorry! Are you ok?" Oh wait, I guess there was a way.
russianredgirl 0
LMAO
Voddy 0
Well shit, it happens. If you're REALLY that worried that people think you're a child-beater, then there's probably something funky going on that you're not acknowledging directly to yourself. Might be time to think about how you deal. Just my $0.02.
Shourai_fml 0
Finally, a true FML. I laughed on this one, FYL, LOL
xxXChiiXxx 2
LMFAO #21
xxXChiiXxx 2
McDonalds isn't going to kill you if you eat it once or twice a month! There's nothing wrong with a small treat once in a while! You people are so freaking uptight. If that kid shouldn't have Mickey D's, then I guess that means no ice cream, candy, popcorn, or whatever else kids like to snack on. :p
exile529 0
hahah, i like this =)