Today, while eating with my kids at McDonalds, my son put his hand up and wanted me to give him a "high five." I went to give him a five, but he moved his hand at the last second and I ended up slapping him in the face. Now everyone there thinks I'm a child-beater. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried to high-five someone but somehow ended up slapping them in the face. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML
Today, two days after losing my temper with my smart mouthed 7 year-old son and slapping him across the face, I tried to apologize by buying him a treat and telling him if anyone found out, I would get in trouble. Today, I got a call from social services about the "bruise" on his face. FML
Today, I went to go give my boss a high five for a job well done. I missed his hand and accidentally slapped his ass on the way down. FML
Today while at my job as a store clerk, I walked by a family. I smiled at their little boy, who responded by flipping me off. As I was walking away, I looked back in time to catch his dad give him a high-five. FML
Today, a waiter came up and and put out his hand so I gave him a high five and pounded it. He then says, "Um, that was a nice high five but I wanted your plate." FML
Today, I was working the register at a local grocery store. A kid about 5 years old was having trouble zipping his jacket. I reached out to help him and he started screaming "No bad touch bad touch!" and kicked me in the knee. Everyone looked. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my little brother. I saw him touching some expensive objects, so I slapped his arm. I noticed he wasn't my brother when he started crying and his real mom slapped me in the face. FML
Today, as usual, I worked at McDonald's. Although I tried to diffuse the situation, an old man was absolutely furious, and punched me in the face over BBQ sauce. FML
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
OmniFML 0
FALCON PUNCH!
Aelaena 6
You should have followed it up by saying 'chew with your mouth closed! what have i taught you?!'
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (171)
LMDaniel_Brendle 0
youre a ******* asshole, and u have no life pisting this fml
HinkeyPunk 0
**** you, sie didn't mean it you ******* idot. Leave hir alone. Like sie meant it.
smnc 0
ahahahaha dhat sucks . yuu son is mean ! you shouldaa beat him when yall qot homee ! lol
c3ns0r3dn4m3 0
you should have followed it up by saying "you should have boughten a V8"
SusanaSaysRawrxD 0
"YDI for eating at McDonalds"?! seriously? some people on here are such overanalytical asses. kids deserve a treat every once in a while. and if they were on their way out of town, and needed a quick place to eat, a fast food restaurant would be perfect. they won't get fat unless they eat their /every single day/. dumbasses.
LabelMeNot 0
lol!!! and 147
monkeykiller77 0
He He He child BEATER that just sounds disturbing
kutsushita_fml 0
Nothing wrong with beating your child, people usually use canes though.
Lefty_Guns 16
You're probably doing your child more harm by feeding them McDonald's and making them believe that it's good.
dahlia14 0
OMG #2!!!!XDXD
hollyman 0
thinks...