Today, while driving, I saw a car pull over with its hazard lights on. I went to see if they needed help, only to see the guy was jerking off to something on his phone. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while I was waiting at a bus stop, a man stopped at the red light and smiled at me. I smiled back. He blew me a kiss and drove away, just as I realized he was masturbating behind the wheel. FML
Today, while on the way to Florida for spring break, I pointed out to my mom a bright blue car in the rear-view mirror. As the car overtook us, we both got a horrifyingly detailed view of the driver jerking off her passenger. FML
Today, I got lost in a car park, late at night, unable to find my car. I started panicking, so I called my dad. I sat down to catch my breath. After about 2 minutes, I heard a noise. I looked up to see a guy jerking off while watching me. He smiled, so I instinctively threw my backpack at his junk and he ran off. FML
Today, after leaving a store I got stuck at a red light. A car pulled up next to me and there was a half retarded man jerking his junk at me. Nasty image burned into my corneas forever. FML
Today, as I was pulling out of my apartment complex, I was rear-ended. When I got out of my car to see how bad the damage was, I wondered why the other guy wasn't getting out of his. As it turns out, he was busy pleasing himself. I found out when I approached his car. FML
Today, I saw a bad car wreck. I pulled over and ran to the car to find an unconscious man behind the wheel. Another car pulled up, and a guy got out. I was relieved to have help, until, to my horror, he started trying to hit on me. I was stuck with him until the ambulance arrived. FML
Today, I was driving when I noticed that the guy in front was on the phone. I pulled up next to him, pulled out my phone and I made a gesture that he needed to put his phone away. It was a cop. I got a ticket for driving while on my cell phone. FML
Today, while I was driving, a pedestrian gesticulated wildly at me for being on my phone. I was just tucking my hair behind my ear. FML
Today, while driving home from work, I saw my boyfriend mugging a woman on the sidewalk. FML
Today, I'd been sat in traffic for about an hour. I've heard stories about people doing the dirty in their cars, and I never do anything risky so I thought, why not, I'll be here a while, no one can see me: I'll masturbate. Midway through, I heard a tap on my driver's window. It was a police officer. FML
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Top comments
IAmzephyr 22
car jacking?
Edward862 7
yeah, I should probably apologize for that.
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Comments (88)
coffeelicious 11
Well, did you see what he was jerking off to? You should also probably get some bleach for those can't be unseen images. :P
Ava_Darkflame 26
That's ******* disgusting. I have no idea why, but this post made me so angry, I'm fuming, I hate guys who think it's okay to just whip their dicks out at any given time.
Paws_Cat 29
He must've gone to jiffy lube beforehand.
InapropriateElmo 6
When you feel the need to ejaculate, stop, pop and **********.
meganmax 14
he needed to handle his business right then an there no going back ??
naiveprophet 15
At least he pulled over? Talk about distracted driving...
Nailbiting 6
That's what you get for helping people
Devin396 10
your first mistake was trying to help somebody. My policy, if never help another human being. Ever. 95% of the times it leads to seeing someone beat their meat on the side of the highway. #trust no one
aFeeble0ldMan 15
Well, did you help him out?