Today, while driving, I idly started picking my nose. I looked over at the car next to me and saw a smoking hot guy from my school staring at me in disgust. He kept staring until I took a turn-off. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was stuck in traffic on the highway and decided it was the perfect time to pick a humongous booger out of my nose. While carefully examing and admiring it, I failed to notice that the owner of my company was staring at me from the left lane in complete and utter revulsion. FML
Today, I walked into a room, where a guy was violently picking his nose. He kept picking. A very pretty girl walked in after me, and he immediately stopped and sat up straight. Apparently, I'm too ugly to motivate strangers to stop excavating their nasal cavities. FML
Today, a motorist yelled at me for texting and driving. I was too ashamed to admit that I'd been admiring the bogey I'd just picked from my nose. FML
Today, while driving home from school, I noticed one of our hot quarterbacks in the car behind me. Trying to impress him, I pulled into the driveway of an expensive-looking house. To my horror, he pulled in behind me and asked what I was doing at his house. FML
Today, I was in my car and a cute guy pulled up next to me. He looked at me and smiled, but in order to be cool, I pretended not to notice. I also pretended that I was listening to music and was completely absorbed in it, singing passionately. I wasn't even listening to music and my window was down. FML
Today, I did the "suck your finger" trick in the car to prevent my lipstick from getting on my teeth and halfway locked eyes with a random dude outside. FML
Today, on the bus, I caught the eye of this ugly, sweaty girl giving me a death stare through the driver's mirror. I gave her a death stare back. Only then I realized I was staring at myself. FML
Today, I was on the bus heading home from school, when I noticed a ridiculously hot girl near me, checking me out. I was about to say something charmingly funny when I suddenly got a whiff of onions. Turns out she had turned around simply to catch the essence of her own fart. FML
Today, I was driving to work. I saw a cute boy in the car next to me. To try and look cool, I pretended I was talking on my cell phone. I got pulled over and got a ticket for using my cell phone while driving. FML
Today, as I was putting stuff into the back of my car, a man walked by and said I looked "super fine." When I looked up to look him in the face, he immediately looked disgusted and basically ran away. Apparently, my face does that. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
Do you also idly wipe your ass as you ride in elevators? Please, tell us what other disgusting habits you idly have.
macskapingvin 0
I think the turn-off was there from the moment you stuck your digit up your nostril.
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Comments (86)
Susieee_Q 9
You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose...but you cannot let your friends see you pick your nose.... Since when?!
brianjman14 23
That's not the quote. It's "You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friend's nose."
Susieee_Q 9
I know that.... It was a direct, satirical reference to the quotation you had in mind. Lrn2sarcasm fool.
sassyangel24 0
you're absolutely ******* disgusting.
brootalxkeni 0
bahahahahaha that's why you gotta make sure no one is looking BEFORE you dig for that gold
SummerLovesTob 0
I'm sorry but really ? thats pretty ******* nastyyyy ,.
perdix 31
You should have stopped picking your nose when you saw him looking.
Ninjafriends 1
Even worse, they were driving side by side for 42 minutes before that turn-off, and she still didn't take her finger out.
pinkkCuteee 0
22, DragonRanger. Durrrr
syddyb 0
I suppose I'm unattractive then. :(
memo619 0
sydd, at least you're not in denial :') makes me proud
georggx 3
why do it in the first place? there are alot of people around you anyway, surely you would of been smart enough to no that someone would of been watching, smoking hot boy or not.
amh721 0
I don't know why people think they aren't disgusting picking their noses while driving. Yes, you might be alone in the car, except...oh wait...transparent windows exposing you to hundreds of other drivers and pedestrians. You're gross. Keep it private. YDI.