Today, when I went to pay for my groceries, I accidentally handed the cashier a condom instead of my $20. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at a restaurant with a girl I like, and as I was getting my wallet out, I dropped a condom. She didn't see anything, and I didn't dare pick it up in case I drew attention to the "object". The waiter walked past, picked up, and held it out to me with a huge grin. FML
Today, I realized I'd lost my wallet when paying for groceries. I had to put all the items back and leave the store feeling so embarrassed in front of everyone. FML
Today, while at the vending machine, I put in my $20 instead of my $1. I got my change back in quarters. FML
Today, I had to return a shirt to Target. My mom offered to do it for me on her way to work, so I gave her the shirt and receipt. Later, I remembered that on the same receipt I had purchased condoms, lube, and whipped cream. FML
Today, I went to a fast food restaurant. The guy behind me was a pretty hot latin guy. When I went to pay, my purse fell off the counter. My birth control pills, a condom, 3 super plus tampons and an extra pair of underwear I keep in there for emergencies fell out at his feet. FML
Today, I went grocery shopping with my toddler. At the checkout, I realized that I forgot my wallet at home. As I frantically searched my purse, my toddler shouted, "Mommy, do we need this?" and held up a box of condoms she'd grabbed from a nearby shelf. Everyone stared. FML
Today, I decided to be a generous guy and slip a dollar from my pocket to a beggar. Turns out I'd slipped my hard-earned $100 bill instead. FML
Today, I withdrew €40 at the ATM to pay for dinner later tonight. It wasn't until I went to pay for it that I realized I'd taken the receipt, but left the cash in the ATM. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store, but once I'd filled my cart, I realized that I'd forgotten my wallet, and because I'm not the sort of animal who just dumps stuff in random aisles, I had to awkwardly put all my items back on their shelves. FML
Today, I went shopping with my mother, when someone snuck a pack of condoms into our cart while our backs were turned. When we got to the register, my mom, whose wealth makes me ineligible for financial aid, noticed the condoms and she announced that she wasn't paying for the college I got accepted to next year because she doesn't want a promiscuous daughter. FML
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Top comments
TheFamilyElf 17
Depending on the cashier's personality, this could go many ways: It could be absolutely hilarious and you could make a new friend. The cashier could be a sweet old lady who reminds you of your granny, and become flustered. It would be awkward for everyone. The cashier could give you a creepy wink-grin combo. Any combination of the above, and more scenarios. I'm assuming, since this is an FML, it wasn't the first one. So.... Awkward.
Wheredidgrungego 12
Clearly an acceptable form of legal US currency. Washington is run by dicks anyway.
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Comments (128)
Zangetsu67 5
Those can easily be mistaken for each other.
perdix 31
Please tell me it was a new one in its wrapper. The image that popped into my head when I first read this is just too disgusting and hilarious. If you handed her a Magnum, she may have treated it like legal tender. Otherwise, she'd say you're short.
LuckyLynx7732 5
And that is how you get some action and free groceries.
DocBastard 40
Apparently where you're from, you seem to think the Trojan Man is on the $20 bill. *runs to google* Nope, it's Andrew Jackson, you idiot.
gracehi 33
Ironic thing about Andrew Jackson being on the $20 bill is that Andrew Jackson was opposed to the creation of a national bank and the implementation of national currency. Fun fact! Yay!
SenselessPattern 12
*runs to google* Damn he's right....
aFreedom127 9
What kind of change were you expecting.
The_F3rris 11
Your picture made me go blind
aFreedom127 9
Flash!
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Your picture makes me want to chop up hot dogs.
kelsey_M_Jones 5
Your picture made me LMFAO! HaHaHa
perdix 31
Maybe you and the cashier can sneak off into the stock room and start "makin' bacon," if you know what I mean, provided you're not allergic to it.
alphaskater09 9
Why would it mater If he/she is allergic to it? He/she doesn't have to eat the bacon they make.
stanpwns 9
32 - It's a reference to another FML.
Mr_Que_Dijo23 5
I see you using protection for your money!;)
ammarieh 4
Freudian slip?
kdodge213 4
Your money can't be that dirty, can it ?
KiddNYC1O 22
Was it opened and dry?