Today, when I went to pay for my groceries, I accidentally handed the cashier a condom instead of my $20. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at a restaurant with a girl I like, and as I was getting my wallet out, I dropped a condom. She didn't see anything, and I didn't dare pick it up in case I drew attention to the "object". The waiter walked past, picked up, and held it out to me with a huge grin. FML
Today, I realized I'd lost my wallet when paying for groceries. I had to put all the items back and leave the store feeling so embarrassed in front of everyone. FML
Today, while at the vending machine, I put in my $20 instead of my $1. I got my change back in quarters. FML
Today, I had to return a shirt to Target. My mom offered to do it for me on her way to work, so I gave her the shirt and receipt. Later, I remembered that on the same receipt I had purchased condoms, lube, and whipped cream. FML
Today, I went to a fast food restaurant. The guy behind me was a pretty hot latin guy. When I went to pay, my purse fell off the counter. My birth control pills, a condom, 3 super plus tampons and an extra pair of underwear I keep in there for emergencies fell out at his feet. FML
Today, I went grocery shopping with my toddler. At the checkout, I realized that I forgot my wallet at home. As I frantically searched my purse, my toddler shouted, "Mommy, do we need this?" and held up a box of condoms she'd grabbed from a nearby shelf. Everyone stared. FML
Today, I decided to be a generous guy and slip a dollar from my pocket to a beggar. Turns out I'd slipped my hard-earned $100 bill instead. FML
Today, I withdrew €40 at the ATM to pay for dinner later tonight. It wasn't until I went to pay for it that I realized I'd taken the receipt, but left the cash in the ATM. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store, but once I'd filled my cart, I realized that I'd forgotten my wallet, and because I'm not the sort of animal who just dumps stuff in random aisles, I had to awkwardly put all my items back on their shelves. FML
Today, I went shopping with my mother, when someone snuck a pack of condoms into our cart while our backs were turned. When we got to the register, my mom, whose wealth makes me ineligible for financial aid, noticed the condoms and she announced that she wasn't paying for the college I got accepted to next year because she doesn't want a promiscuous daughter. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
TheFamilyElf 17
Depending on the cashier's personality, this could go many ways: It could be absolutely hilarious and you could make a new friend. The cashier could be a sweet old lady who reminds you of your granny, and become flustered. It would be awkward for everyone. The cashier could give you a creepy wink-grin combo. Any combination of the above, and more scenarios. I'm assuming, since this is an FML, it wasn't the first one. So.... Awkward.
Wheredidgrungego 12
Clearly an acceptable form of legal US currency. Washington is run by dicks anyway.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (128)
The_F3rris 11
Condoms are a currency. In the land of Pooty Tang.
brandy1 5
Hey, it happens. What are you going to do? I hope the cashier was a lady, at least, so maybe she thought you wanted to sleep with her. If it was a guy, awkward!
False_Stupidity 42
What if the OP is female?.. ladies sometimes carry condoms too you know.
hewro_failure 11
Well was the cashier attractive I mean who knows you may have found a new sex buddy eh eh?
coolbrony12 3
How did you confuse rubber and paper!? Well it's not that bad as long as there were no kids around or it wasn't used. I hope to God it wasn't used.
Chopin_and_tofu 3
Why would he keep a used condom in his wallet? Hahaha, that would be just disgusting.
linkinpark98 24
Why would you keep a condom in your wallet anyways? You're supposed to keep them in a cool dry place. Not where your ass is rubbing up against them, getting them all heated. YDI
Ray_of_midnight 23
Yeah, this. Way for it to break when you finally do get around to using it.
haveywavey9 4
most guys do keep comdoms in their wallets like chicks usually keep tampons and occasionally condoms in their purses
Rhysviri 10
Well tampons aren't made of rubber, genius. Menstrual products are like a whole different subject apart from sex protection.
eggmarie 25
How do you know it wasn't a woman? There isn't a gender symbol or name. It could have very well been a woman who kept it in her purse.
linkinpark98 24
Still, even purses get heated. Its better to just keep your condoms in a dresser drawer or something such as that.
BubbleGrunge 18
Nothing to be embarrassed about OP, least you're safe!
doglover100 29
I want to know if the cashier was a man or woman and if they were attractive.
inventindascene 5
I would have paid to been there !!XD
linkinpark98 24
I bet it would have been more awkward than funny... You'd be paying to see a cashier and a costumer have what a looks like an awkward face contest.
PoshLife_Cross 5
I'm almost certain those services cost more than $20.00. Hey, cashier may owe you now.
pastywhitekid 10
YDI for keeping those in your wallet in the first place. The added wear and tear on condoms in wallets makes it more likely for them to fail, which results in more FML comments on unwanted pregnancies.