Today, I was having sex with a girl I had just met. After about five minutes in, she said she had to go to the bathroom, so we stopped and she left the room. After waiting around ten minutes, I decided to check if she was OK. The window was open. She was gone. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was having sexy time with my girlfriend when she said she needed to pee. She came back 5 minutes later and started talking about how she hasn't seen her best friend in ages and misses her. Needless to say, I couldn't get the man downstairs back up when we continued. FML
Today, I went to see a movie with the girl I've liked for months. After the commercials, she told me she had to go to the ladies room. She never came back. FML
Today, I was in the mood for morning sex, but my wife told me to go wank it off in the bathroom. Three minutes later I was mid-wank when she started banging on the door because I was taking too long, and she needed to pee. FML
Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML
Today, I went out with this girl I really liked and she came back to my place. Things were heating up and we ended up having sex. I was on top and really into it but in the middle of it she held up her wrist and said, "Huh, look at the time, I gotta get home." She wasn't wearing a watch. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML
Today, when my boyfriend came over he was on his phone. We spent about 15 minutes together before having sex, then he made a phone call and said he had to leave. I could hear him from my window apologising to his coworker because he “just had to do something real quick but was now free to talk again.” FML
Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML
Today, I was in my girlfriend's room when she walked in after getting out of the shower, wearing just a towel. She removed it and I was inches away from going down on her when I noticed she hadn’t wiped properly, either before or after her shower. She'd complained about stomach problems earlier, but regardless… FML
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Top comments
wholeon 0
I have my doubts about this one. 1. Many bathroom windows don't open, and even i they do, they are way too small to crawl out of. 2. Are we supposed to believe that a girl crawled out the window of your home and left buck-ass naked? Wouldn't you know something was up if she collected all her clothes off your floor first? What about her keys/purse/etc? 3. Why wouldn't she just go out the door? This just makes no sense...
SoBlonde_fml 0
Wow, she actually used the window. She didn't take the front door route. That's intense.
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Comments (176)
michelle4srs 0
Lol, awww. Sounds like something that'd happen in a movie. EDIT: First~ c:
Gorsbug823 0
aw *gives hug*
chaos753159 4
she had clothes on?
guitardedman 0
goddamn thats rough
danyfuckinheatle 0
tiny
SoBlonde_fml 0
Wow, she actually used the window. She didn't take the front door route. That's intense.
totalbadass 0
YDI for not knowing that those systems shut down during sex, so she shouldn't have to go to the bathroom mid-coitus.
Master_Trader 0
lol nice fml.
jadore_me 0
so true!
wholeon 0
I have my doubts about this one. 1. Many bathroom windows don't open, and even i they do, they are way too small to crawl out of. 2. Are we supposed to believe that a girl crawled out the window of your home and left buck-ass naked? Wouldn't you know something was up if she collected all her clothes off your floor first? What about her keys/purse/etc? 3. Why wouldn't she just go out the door? This just makes no sense...
starfire555 0
you're an idiot
Phatso806 0
yea pretty sure this one is fake
tiipsypiink09 0
Yea actually you're right. Why would she put her clothes on to go to the bathroom?
sup3rmann 0
stfu
silver0jay 11
you don't know. They could gve taken their clothes off in the hallway or something. or the bathroom was away from the bedroom or something. :b so shut up. there are millions of scenarios. dumb b****
DulceVx3 0
She might have only taken her pants off or lowered them , I keep my keys and id/creditcard/etc in my pants pockets . Just saying there could be many explanations & also the window in my bathroom is big enough to crawl through so it's possible .
IHATEFMYLIFE 26
My thoughts exactly! Wouldn't you think something was up when she took all her clothes and belongings to the bathroom with her? Unless you're just that dumb.
Loliology 10
She probably took her clothes off in the bathroom beforehand, I could easily fit through my bathroom window if I tried. Also a lot of bathrooms have fans when you turn on the light so she could have been discreet about it
Driv3r001 8
I know this was probably posted years ago, but my bathroom window opens and is big enough for someone to crawl out of.
cyberhoy 3
You must have been pretty bad for her to bail out like that
dammn 0
OMG LMAO , THATS SO BAD .
emadee 0
maybe shes batman and had to yknow go fight crime and stuff you never know
babyk41896 0
hell yea I agree!
Alteffor 0
That's classic.