Today, we had company over, and after dinner, I saw a package of gumballs sitting on the table. Figuring my brother had brought them, I took one and bit it. I got a bunch of weird looks. Turns out wasn't a gumball - it was a mini paintball. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while cleaning my desk I found a stray gumball. I quickly popped it into my mouth only to discover with horror that it was a paintball. FML
Today, I walked out of my house wearing only boxers, only to be greeted by kids with paintball guns. FML
Today, my friends and I went paintballing. The instructor showed us the sound of an unloaded gun by shooting at my face. It wasn't unloaded. FML
Today, I was eating some cake that my roommate's girlfriend brought by for us. I felt something weird in my mouth, so I stopped chewing to grab it. It was a fingernail. FML
Today, while playing paintball, a shot ricocheted off a wall and slammed into my nuts. I told the other team I was out and tried to run out of the field, but as I was jogging to the door I was hit again in the balls. My friend saw this and dropped his gun, laughing. It hit me too. FML
Today, my family got together for a big game of paintball. My grandpa wanted to play too, but I told him he was a bit too old for such a rough sport. He joined anyway, and spent the whole 2 hours hunting my dumb ass down. I'm now in constant pain after being riddled with paintballs. FML
Today, I came home from work to find that my neighbor's trash bins were still on the curb. While returning the bins to her backyard, her kid ran out and shot me with a paintball gun. Multiple times. He thought I was a burglar and ruined my new suit. FML
Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML
Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML
Today, I was hungry and decided to nibble on some Cheez-Its I had in my room. After I'd enjoyed some of them, I looked into the box to see how many I had left, where I noticed a lot of little black moving dots. Apparently I wasn't the only one enjoying the crackers. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
I see that your face turned blue, but did you also inflate like Violet Beauregarde?
kamerly 0
thats what you get for putting your brother's little blue balls in your mouth.....
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Comments (57)
Katface 0
Maybe you should check next time before you put something in your mouth.
SweetestSin 4
In Red Foreman's famous words "You're a dunmbass"
erino 0
Oh, the irony...
Aha09 1
This reeks of fail...
possumisawesome 0
I went to Canadian tire the other day and saw a 250 pack of little colourful balls, and I thought they were gum balls too, but it confused me why Canadian Tire would be selling them.
polico_wolf 0
Did you die?
beritis 0
what colour?...
perdix 31
From the OP's name, you can tell the colo(u)r was blue. The sad thing is that I suffer from Blue Balls and she eats blue balls! If she would eat mine, then I wouldn't suffer anymore. Oh, the humanity!
rizotherat 0
LIAR there are no "mini" paintballs. your just too dumb to recognize a regular paintball. What is fun though is to buy a bag of gumballs and hide a few paintballs in it. Then pass the bag around at a party and watch who gets a weird look, who freaks, and who tries to play it off.
CallMeHush 1
They do make 6mm "mini" paintballs so that you can shoot them out of your blowgun or airsoft, it makes playing with the cat more fun.
ericrm23 6
There are multiple sizes of paintballs dude
ObadiahtheSlim 2
Minipaint ball? FAKE. Seriously. Paintballs come in a single standard size. Plus they are the most vile and bitter taste you will ever stick in your mouth. I know this from getting shot in the face and having the stuff go through the grill of my facemask.
ibleedlimegreen 3
Wrong. You're kinda right, .68 cal is "standard size". However there are also .50 cal (completely pointless, why would you want less paint to mark with?) and then there are SplatMasters that i think are more of a .40ish cal. JT makes them but i think they only come in orange. But yeah OP probably ate a .68 and paintballs dont taste that bad, ive eaten a hole pod of Valken Graffiti.
danmmcd 0
How is this an FML? anyone who has been paintballing had a worse experience than that... plus paintballs have a strong smell and are often coated in oil, it is difficult to unknowingly eat a paintball.
Stahn 0
who the hell would buy a package of gumballs? and why would that be anyone's first assumption?
shaBAMalex 0
Tons of people buy packages of gumballs.