Today, was the first day all week I got to sleep in. I woke up this beautiful morning to the sun shining in my window and hundreds of carpenter ants crawling over my sheets and me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was gently awoken by my daylight alarm clock. So were about 15 wasps that had started building their nest underneath my bed. FML
Today, I got up, curtains still closed, and in the dim light noticed something dark on the floor, which wasn’t there yesterday. I turned on the light to find out what it was. A tiny ant hill. FML
Today, I got up feeling refreshed and positive for the first time in ages, so I happily threw my window open to greet the beautiful morning. A bee flew into my eye. FML
Today, I decided to take a nap in the park. I found a nice shady spot and closed my eyes. When I woke up, I realized I had fallen asleep on an ant hill. My entire body was riddled with ants. FML
Today, and for the first time in months, I woke up feeling well rested and ready to face the day. At 7pm. FML
Today, I was sleeping in my bed when I felt an itch on my arm. Then another. Then another. I finally looked to see what was going on, only to find a bunch of ants crawling in my bed. They were somehow getting in through the closed window. Guess I’m done sleeping tonight. FML
Today, I woke up and it was Monday. FML
Today, I woke up on the top bunk of my bed with the birds chirping. I felt so energized, I gave a big stretch, and my hand hit the ceiling. I accidentally pushed the ceiling board up and lots of tiny spiders fell on me and my bed. FML
Today, I woke up early to weird scratching and smacking noises. After gathering enough courage to check what it was, I found out it was just an ant stuck on a piece of paper. FML
Today, a colony of ants announced that they'd moved into my bedroom closet as I went to get dressed for work. FML
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Top comments
my_fml_account 2
Carpenter ants? This FML is funnier in my head when I imagine they're building tiny scaffolding around you, and fixing your broken chair. oh and FYL
lonely_wife 0
I know I'd FREAK OUT!
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Comments (82)
nilnoc 0
You apparently have no life if u rush to a computer and posted this. You also have no life if you comment on one just to be first like retarded #1.
purplegiraffes 0
or he took care of it and then decided to post it? or it happened a while ago and thought it would make a good story? Chill out, really.
CrazyMe2524 0
And you have no life if you ran to your computer just to read this FML !
wuffymcwuff 2
I'm sure posting this wasn't the first thing OP did.
taintedtruffle 42
sounds like someones jelly they weren't comment #1
Omggabrielle 0
omg what a bad one.
balletstar101 0
ROFL LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
sublime93 0
...Did I miss something? This was more of a *shiver, ew bugs* fml, rather than a *LMFAO OMG ROFL!!111!* fml.
iHaveNoLife88 0
I hate ants!! They swarmed my house one day when I came home. x.x FYL!!
jonny2x4 0
Were they hot?
nilnoc 0
You apparently have no life if u rush to a computer and posted this. You also have no life if you comment on one just to be first like retarded #1.
robotiick7 23
Well how do you know that op rushed straight to their computer?They could've called an exterminater and then posted this.
cha40_fml 0
i like how you worded this. i thought it was well written. oh and FYL, that sucks.
flinkpamingo 0
Better than spiders!
plexico 4
Better than butterflies!
Intoxicunt 6
Better than maggots.
plexico 4
There are apparently at least two guys out there that will say there is nothing more horrifying than butterflies.
emadee 0
i had a boyfriend who was terrified of butterflies. i found it extremely endearing. too bad he was also a massive douche.
Intoxicunt 6
Only off by 22. Close enough...
_THE_MASTER_ 0
dude, why'd you tell him? you just know now that when you're modding later, you're gonna read one like 'ZOMG so today i commented 1st but then 20 people got theirs in b4 me cause i type like a 90 year old and then my dog died and then my mom died and then my dick broke off and then my xbox broke everyone still laughed at me bcuz i said first and then was 23rdZOMG FML.' and then another one 'so my fml about my horrible life got rejected because is was too sad and mostly fabricated and not funny but i really really wanted it to go up so i could get to it and be the first comment on it cause that would validate my life and time on earth but then every1 said no cause they all hate me cause they're an army of life-ruiners out to ruin my life FMLFMLFML.' but then of course he'll probably just do what we all really want him to do, which is off himself in a darwin-award-worthy fashion. (jeez, I'm long-winded today!)