Today, was my boyfriend's birthday. He wanted a blowjob while playing Call of Duty 4. In typical gamer fashion, he slammed his controller down when he died. Into my head. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job, he was twitching and moving around and saying "oh yeah" then he said "take that bitch". I looked up to see he was only excited about how he is domination in Call of Duty 4. FML
Today, I agreed to give my husband head while he played Call of Duty. I was happy because he enjoyed it at first, until he started getting his ass kicked in the game. He lost and angrily blamed me for distracting him. FML
Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML
Today, I was playing Xbox live with my boyfriend. I was bored so I decided to mess around. So I put down my remote and unbuttoned his pants. Two minutes in he said, "Hurry up, we're getting killed without you. Besides you're way better at video games." FML
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend had been telling me for the past two weeks that he had something planned for the occasion. His plan? Me watching TV with his parents, who hate me, while he went to work. His gift? A brand new Xbox 360 for himself. FML
Today, a character in the video game I was playing called my character a slut. My boyfriend ripped the controller from my hands, shot him dead, then fired the rest of my ammo into his corpse while yelling "FUCK YOU, BUDDY!" Good to know I'm dating a total lunatic. FML
Today, I played Call Of Duty online against someone who turned out to be wanking. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house and sat around while he played video games. He turned to me and could see I was annoyed. Then he told his friends on XBox Live that he needed a 10 minute break to have sex with me. FML
Today, for my birthday, my boyfriend presented me with his cock with a ribbon on it. Basically, HE wanted sex for MY birthday and had the nerve to accuse me of being ungrateful. For his birthday last month, I gave him multiple Xbox games. He couldn’t even be bothered to get me flowers. FML
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Top comments
mclayton37 0
See... Your boyfriend has a problem. He likes to mix his pleasures. It just doesn't work. You have to put a stop to it, before one day he's playing video games, talking on the phone, taking a dump, and gettin a BJ from you all at the same time.. NO! It's like that episode of Seinfeld when George tries to enjoy some pastrami and watching TV while having sex.. you gotta stop it before it gets worse!
Envy_fml 0
Ouch.
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Comments (235)
xXMudkipNoobXx 7
well as long as you didnt flinch and bite his johnson, its all good.
djjaxon2001 4
Cod is frestating
1991j 4
its funny that you actually said yes.. so fyl! and ydi!
dblue3351 0
That would be.... Heaven.
newburton13 26
Did you bite him?
ya_momma 4
Why would you agree to giving him that? Ydi for being stupid :) lol
Coalke 5
I like it when people pay attention when we have sex. But, whatever works for you...
martinez121797 15
Dream gf!
potmnich762 3
There is no COD 4
Baelzebub 2
YDI for being a doormat in the first place. Shut up and just be glad he didn't wipe his feet on you too. But then, I'm a virginal first week feminist studies dropout, so forgive my bitterness.
sammyjo06 14
Wow. You have issues. You think a woman doing a sexual favor for a guy (especially on his birthday) is her being a doormat? Is a guy a doormat if he decides to go down on his woman after giving her a nice foot massage on her birthday? Sometimes if you're in a relationship, you do physical things for your significant other that don't necessarily involve reciprocation. It doesn't mean you're a doormat.